Crocheting A Body

Under Contruction...In So Many Ways

2011-01-19T15:41:00.000-08:00

My goodness, it's been a LOOOOOOOOONG while since I've posted. I still check in every so often to remind myself of simpler times....I know that sounds weird, but after the year I've had, trust me, these post entries were definately during simpler times. I was surprised to see that there are still people from several countries (WOW!) who are visiting the blog. I am still here. I am still working on losing weight. But there is so much more to the story than just exercise and diet, and I think I'm ready to share that with you.

I am working on revamping the blog and may even change the blog title. Stay tuned! As I am ready to make the changes, I will make sure to let you know. Look for a new series of postings explaining my "lost year" within the week. Thanks for sticking with me! I have a renewed feeling of hope and believe that my story might help a few of you out there.

Upping the Mileage...

2008-10-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Since making the switch to run rather than walk for exercise, I've been trying to up the speed and mileage. I'm now up to 3 miles each session and hope to increase that in the next 2 weeks. It's not easy for me because when I see I've reached 2 miles, I have this intense desire to climb off the treadmill. But it's coming along. The goal is 15 miles this week.

The boys did great on their quarter tests for Spelling and Math. Ds10 also had a 7 chapter History test. I'm really pleased with their progress, as I think they are too! Since most schools have off today, they convinced me to do a half-day. We did Spelling, Handwriting, Math, and English. Tomorrow we'll be back to our full schedule.

The trench coat is coming along...I want to wear it during Halloween weekend so I need to speed things up!

Another Busy Week

2008-10-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

I had a much harder time sticking with my diet this past week, although I did run about 6.5 miles. I ate pretty horribly and I don't see enough difference in my measurements to warrant taking pictures. But am I giving up or feeling sorry for myself? NO WAY!!

This week will be a very busy one, but I will get in running everyday. While I don't like to run, I do like the feeling I have after I've completed a couple of miles. I seem to be steadily doing 2 miles at a time, but I am working on increasing that to 3 miles each session this week. That's a HUGE adjustment for me. I've also noticed that on the days that I did run, my appetite was much less; another bonus.

We have an appointment with a speech therapist for my youngest son today, soccer twice this week, swimming on Friday, Science and Art with our "buddy" homeschooling family, and we've added an extra weekly gym class at the local rec center that's just for homeschoolers. The boys did it last week and loved it! Wednesday we are doing a day trip to a Natural Museum to see mummies, dinosaurs, etc. That's going to be alot of fun! This is review week for us, with Math, History, and Spelling tests being taken by Friday.

I am working on the back of the trench coat- it's taking forever, or so it feels, but it's going to be beautiful! I want to wear it Thanksgiving weekend. I promise to write at the end of the week on how well I stuck to diet and exercise and my progress on the trench coat!

Don't Count Me Out!

2008-09-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been blogging this week. Last week really knocked the wind out of me, but don't count me out! Between the power outage, all of the chores left undone because of the power outage, the newborn puppies and soccer practices/games- there was very little time to keep up with the blog.

Although diet and exercise were non-existent in the last 2 weeks, I am back on track. I just ran a full 2 miles without stopping, which is a first for me. Usually I try to run the 1st mile, slow down for a couple of minutes and then speed back up to finish the 20 minute session. Today I decided to not worry about how fast I can run the 1st mile and instead concentrated on keeping up a running pace for the 20 minutes without slowing down. It was challenging, but not as difficult as I thought it would be.

This is going to be a very fast-paced week. Our 24month old daughter celebrates her 2nd birthday on Saturday and we have family coming in from out of state. All of the grandparents will be attending the party as well as the 2 little girls who share her birthday. We also have soccer practices/games, swimming class, homeschooling, and a boat load of cleaning to get done. We are about a week ahead of our schedule for school, so we are concentrating on History, Language Arts, Science and Math this week.

I am ready to start work on the Trench Coat, but I am still debating the color!! Some of the yarn choices I've liked will be too expensive so I'll have to limit which yarns I choose from.

The puppies are doing very well-Mollie is a great Mommy! She's been letting our oldest ds help her when the puppies start to get away from her. Just wait until they open their eyes! That should happen at some point later this week.

Well, break is over, our History and Geography lesson awaits!

Power Outage and Puppies!!

2008-09-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

Well, we survived. We lost power around 10 pm Sunday night and endured a very wild 28 hours. First, let me say, thank goodness for our generator! It allowed us to take showers, make coffee (Woohoo!!), and made life, well, livable. Even though the local schools were closed, our little school was not! We worked until it became too dark to see.

Our dog Mollie provided our Science lesson when she suddenly went into labor yesterday and several hours later we had 9, yes 9 healthy puppies!! Five girls and 4 boys, all named for characters from Star Wars. Sadly, we did have a 10th puppy that was stillborn. That was a really difficult moment. But we are thrilled to have Mollie and her 9 pups in good health and she is quite the Mama looking after her little ones.

Let me also say that power outages do NOT go hand in hand with losing weight! You pretty much eat what you can and without my treadmill there wasn't a way to exercise as I had the children (and puppies) to worry about, not to mention that pesky thing called electricity. Did I mention the large tree laying on 4 wires on the road 2 houses down from us? Our very busy road was closed and we are lucky to have the power back on...our next door neighbor still doesn't. I just continue to pray for those who were in the path of the hurricane. We weren't even in it's direct path...I can't imagine how difficult it must be for those in the south without power and or a generator.

I have been a zombie today. We had school, puppies, and a soccer game. My husband went to work, came home to help the neighbor without power (elderly lady), then went back to work only to have the computer system shut down due to a water main break. The first floor of the building was evacuated. Ok, so exactly when do the locusts show up? Seriously, will Purell cure Pestilence? Because if it does, I am so on it. I'm your go-to gal for all means of plagues, just after I get some sleep! Tomorrow is another day....and I'm off to get some well needed sleep!

Yea, Sure....What??!!!

2008-09-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

That was my response to my ds10 this week when while getting ready for his brother's soccer practice, we had this conversation:

"Mom, I'm going to take my gameboy."
"That's fine, I'll be walking."
"Wait, my gameboy is in Dad's truck!"
"Why don't you take one of your books to read?"
"Yeah, I guess...Hey Mom, can you make me a multiplication sheet to do?"
"Yea, Sure....What, you mean Math?!!!"
"Yea, can you make me one to do real quick?"
"OOOkay, I can do that..."

It was at this point that I had to hide my "cat that ate the canary" grin! I couldn't believe it! Math. Fun. Seriously! Come on! This is the same boy that could barely get through his 4 x tables in May.

Homeschooling has brought ALOT of changes to our lives- all good so far. A few challenges, for sure, but I'm so glad we made this decision. One change I've noticed is the shift of time, in that 3-5 p.m. doesn't seem to have the same chaotic tone it had before. It's really busy, but not chaotic. By 3 p.m., school is done, my dd24months is awake from her nap, dinner is getting prepared and the evening is open to just soccer/swimming practice and family time. No homework, no extra responsibilities to take away from family time, except occasional cantor practice. But the day is super busy. We are ahead in our work right now, but I'm trying to build in a "cushion" in case of sickness.

The boys fight ALOT less. Their "recess" time is limited, like at school, so when they do play together they want to play and are less apt to argue. They also take turns playing with their sister during the day and that's a ton of fun to watch. She sits on a chair, pats the cushion and calls to one of them to sit with her. If they were at school, they would have very little time with her. They would be home around 2:30 and after homework there would be a short time for dinner before soccer/swimming and then off to bed. This time in their lives is gold and I'm so glad they are getting to spend it together.

Academically speaking the boys are doing great. I don't want to get too confident because I know enough from other moms that challenges are almost certain to come, so I just enjoy where we are now. Take care of today and tomorrow will take care of itself.

My challenges are of course to maintain exercise and diet and boy is that a challenge! I'm getting in 20 min. of running most days with extra walking while the boys are at sports. It's a great time to chat with friends as well. Diet is harder because I am trying to stick with Body For Life, but my family isn't. Dinner isn't the problem, but Breakfast and Lunch prove harder to manage. We are trying to have breakfast all together before my husband goes to work- before it was eat when you wanted to before getting to school or work, but we wanted to spend more time together as a family. They would like a bigger breakfast. I want cream of wheat. Like THAT's going to go well...but I'll get it figured out!

My latest crochet project is something I want to wear soon. I am not having much luck with wearables that require shaping so I hope this goes better. I've been ripping out alot of starter projects.

Lastly, our female dog is expecting puppies any day now. We think sometime between now and the next 3 weeks or so. She was already a high wired dog, but now she's testy and hormonal (poor thing). We have also made arrangements to purchase a ram for our sheep so our farm continues to grow.

Time's up, got to get to bed...tomorrow is a school day :)

And The Winner Is...

2008-09-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

Entry #2, the classic trench coat! Thanks to everyone who entered and voted. I appreciate the help in picking a pattern to make for the Fall/Winter. I was going to make it in a mocha brown color, but I don't know now...any thoughts? I am working on a project that I should have done by my daughter's birthday at the end of the month, then I'll start work on the trench coat. I've got to get to bed, but wanted to get this posted. Congrats to Contestant #2! Take a look at the options for first prize and let me know which one you choose!

Help Choose The Winner!!! 3 Finalists Announced!

2008-08-28T08:07:00.001-07:00

Ok, here they are- the 3 finalists for the Cool Weather Clothing Crochet Pattern Contest. Take a look at all three and then place your vote in the comments section under THIS post. Feel free to make suggestions for colors on your favorite pattern- If it wins, I might use your color and or yarn selection! You can place your vote through September 10th.

Entry #1: Hooded Coat from Romantic Looks Crochet

Entry #2: Classic Trench Coat from Modadea.com

Entry #3: Trendy Top from 24 Hour Crochet

****I should note that if this one was chosen, I thought I might do one of a two things: add sleeves and sew up middle; or wear over long sleeve shirts. Feel free to add your own thoughts if you choose this one.

Pineapple Outfit

2008-08-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

I got my entries back from the county fair this morning, so I was able to get some pics of my daughter's outfit from this weekend. The top is a design from http://www.mylittlecitygirl.com/ and she has other wonderful top designs to crochet. The pants were my idea- I hemmed a pair of pants to be capris and added some crochet appliques to make a flower design. Both top and pants are beaded. I bought enough yarn so I can undo it next summer, add more of the pineapple motifs and crochet the white and green trim back on the top so it can be worn again. Heck if I'm going to do all that work to have her wear it once!!

School's In Session!

2008-08-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our first day of homeschool and it went well. It's a pretty full day and then we went to my youngest son's soccer practice, followed by my husband purchasing hay and loading it into the barn (oldest son helped with that).

I had hoped to have back my things from the fair, mostly because I wanted back the mannequin so I can post pics of the outfit my daughter wore Friday night to the rehearsal dinner. I was so pleased with it! She hated getting into it because the back is kind of complicated to tie and 23 month olds are NOT known for their ability to stand still....

We had a wonderful weekend. It's the last of the weddings from this generation on that side of the family. I think my children thought they were Zach and Cody, the 2 brothers who live in a hotel. They loved staying at the hotel!

Anyway, I need to get school started- we have another full day ahead of us. We are studying Indians and Explorers to North America among other things and it's a lot of fun to read to the boys!

I'll try to get the final entries for the contest posted with pics for you to judge in the next 24 hours. I was up exercising at 11 pm last night and just too tired!!

Pinch Me!!!!

2008-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it! ALL of my crocheted items placed!!!! The Upsy Daisy Poncho took 2nd place in its class, my daughter's Christmas Dress also placed 2nd in its class, and the Swimsuit took FIRST PLACE!!! WOO HOO!!! Below are pics of them with their ribbons. By the way, while my chocolate chip pie didn't place, the Molasses Sugar cookies placed 2nd. Wow, 4 out of 5 entries placed. I just can't believe it. And while I ended up enjoying a pretzel dog at the fair, I did some extra walking at the ballfield to make up for it. Just a great day!

Another Fitness Milestone For Me!

2008-08-19T11:35:00.001-07:00

I finally reached a big fitness milestone- I did a mile in 11:28 minutes! That's my best time ever! I really didn't think I'd get under 12 minutes during this challenge, but I did. Yea me. I started off with 4.5 mph, which is the fastest I've ever started and reached 6.7-6.8 mph at the end of the first mile. For the 20 minutes, I ended up doing 1.57 miles which is just awesome for me. The ultimate goal is to do 2, 10 minute miles and I would be absolutely shocked if I reached that before the end of this challege!

Well, I'm off to shower and then we are going to the fair to see how my entries did. Please, DON'T expect any ribbons- I saw alot of my competition last night and I don't stand a chance, but that's ok. It was fun just to enter things in the fair. My oldest has soccer practice this evening so the kids will be eating dinner at the fair (this is our one night to go), and I'll be toting my protein bar and diet pepsi. Boy, I live on the edge, don't I?

I'll write more about the fair this evening.

What A Great Day!

2008-08-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

The children are all tucked in their beds, with visions of their new Toys R Us gift cards dancing in their heads....

Today was the big birthday party for both our boys. The oldest is 10 and the youngest will be 7 in a few weeks. Our baby girl has her 2nd birthday next month.

The day started off with me cantoring for morning mass. I get so nervous now- never used to, but I think it's different singing for a community of friends. Singing for church is different than anything else. It's just NOT about you. It's about serving - leading your community in song with out standing out. That's a hard line to stay on the right side of, but messing up every other time helps keep you humble :) Today was a good day and I was really pleased.

The party was just wonderful. My dear italian grandmother who is 94 attended. This was her first visit to our farm and I loved having her here, as did the rest of my family. We had a great round of ghost stories!! The boys had all their favorite friends, including the children they'll homeschool alongside with this year. Our daughter had her friend at the party and planning their birthdays will be quite the task. They were born the same day! We have to make sure they can be at each other's parties!

My husband and I had some great conversations with friends (parents of the children) and family. Just a great day all around.

Well, back to the grindstone. What is this, week 5 already? I have a wedding at the end of the week and we 1/2 school days going on- not to mention baking tomorrow for the fair. We're going to take the crochet and baking items over tomorrow afternoon. A friend told me that judging might actually be on Tuesday so we might have to head over there Tuesday afternoon! Wish me luck! Pics to be posted end of the week and hopefully the final picks for the contest will be up to show you by end of the week!

Quick Update...

2008-08-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

I'm getting my children ready for soccer practice (although we have a thunderstorm moving in so I don't know if it's really going to happen), but I wanted to take a minute to update you on the contest and other bits of news. First, the contest. I'm waiting to hear from one contestant who entered an entire book. I need her to narrow it a bit down for me! :) I'm going to give her a few more days to respond. In the meantime, I'm looking through the choices and narrowing them down to a few that I'll let you decide through a poll.

Secondly, I don't know if I am looking better, but boy, do I feel better. I have more energy, and I feel like I'm going somewhere with this program. Free day is going to be my sons' birthday party on Sunday. Can't wait!!

Lastly, I entered 3 crocheted items into our county fair!! The Hot Mama Swimsuit, The Upsy Daisy Poncho, and my daughter's Christmas dress. I also entered a Chocolate Chip pie and my husband's grandmother's Molasses Sugar cookies. They have to be taken to the fair grounds on Monday. I won't know how I did until the weekend of the 23rd. Wish me luck! Oh no, lightening, gotten run!

Oops...Week 4!

2008-08-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that! I missed a week check in- it's very easy to get sidetracked in this house! I just got off the treadmill, smiling ear to ear. I hit a milestone this evening. I ran a 12 minute mile! That's a minute and 15 seconds LESS than my previous best time!!!! I managed to maintain a 5.5 mph for 5 minutes and then kicked it up to 6.1 mph and RAN AS FAST AS I COULD!!!! It felt great! Did I just say that?

The friend that I'll be homeschooling with is actually not starting her school year until September so she can get all of her unfinished projects completed. There is ALOT of wisdom in that approach and with swimming two mornings a week and speech therapy once a week for my youngest ds, we have alot of interruptions to our day. Soccer season just started this week, with my oldest ds having practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays and my youngest ds will ofcourse have practice on Mondays and Wednesdays. I mean, they couldn't possibly have practice on the same nights and make my life easier, right? Oh well, I'll use the time for extra walking sessions.

I have completed all of the motifs for dd's top and am now attaching them. After that, it's just trim work and beading. I need to make sure the motif layout is going to fit her properly and not be too big.

I've only had a few entries into the contest. I'll make a decision on Monday, so you have until then! If you haven't entered, now's the time!!

End Of Week Two

2008-07-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty good week. I didn't miss any exercise sessions and did a few of them at 10:30 or later at night! Funny thing is, I actually pushed myself harder when working at night. Maybe it's the lack of distractions or that I wanted to prove to myself that exercising at night doesn't have to mean moving slower.

Yesterday I managed to shave off another 10 seconds from a mile. My best is now 13:15 which is not bad considering I was doing a 16/17..ug, maybe 18 min. mile before the challenge. I'm trying to make the switch from walking to running and it's HARD!!!! After I do the first mile, I slow down for a couple of minutes and then force myself to get back to running and then finish the 20 minute session going faster than my previous top speed. Yesterday I pulled off a 6.1 mph for one minute. Thought I was going to fall off the treadmill!

I am working on 2 projects, nope, 3 projects at one time. There is a method to my madness! The first project is a baby blanket for one my younger son's therapists who is expecting her first child this fall. It's a simple pattern using super bulky yarn and I can work on it even with chaos going on around me because it's so simple.

The second project is the tunic and I am working on this every time I have pockets of time without distraction, and of course that would be about 1 a.m.....:)

The 3rd project is actually a top that I am trying to make for my dd who is 20 months. I wanted to make her something to wear to the rehearsal dinner for the family wedding at the end of August. I got a pair of white capris for her and plan to make some edging and floral appliques to put on the capris to go along with the top. I'll ask the designer if I can post a pic and link to her pattern (for sale on ebay and I think etsy). Lots of little motifs so I do those anytime I have 5-10 min and race to see if I can get one done fast!

At some point, all 3 projects will get done! I have a small list going of future cold weather projects to make, but have room for one more so I need any last entries for my contest! I'll wrap the contest up at the end of the week, so PLEASE keep looking for something awesome for me to make to wear!!!

I Might Electrocute Myself, But...

2008-07-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

I might electrocute myself with all the sweat I am dripping on to the keyboard LOL:), but I had to write a quick post before I hopped in the shower. I just completed my cardio workout for the day (yes at 11:09 pm!) and I did the fastest mile I have done in months!!! I ran a 13.25 minute mile which is awesome for me. I had been doing around 17 minutes when I was doing a 60 minute cardio routine. The Body For Life plan requires 20 minutes of really intense cardio and man, did I accomplish that!! I managed to hold a 6.0 mph run for 30 seconds and stayed at 5.6-5.7 for several minutes in the workout. I am really proud of myself right now.

Our boys are getting used to their half-day homeschool routine. They are getting to bed WAY too late. Tonight they made a tent out of blankets in their room with the top of their fooseball table being the "secret door" complete with password. I, being the ever clever top secret Mommy agent that I am, quickly guessed the password (name of the youngest son :)) and I was allowed top secret clearance. Daddy was at a meeting tonight so they had ice cream, a movie, and I let them sleep in their tent. That lasted about 10 minutes and they were back in their own beds. Too funny!

Each day we do lessons in handwriting, spelling, english, and double math and phonics lessons. Both boys are making great strides in their math and reading! I started to read a loud to them yesterday but I don't want to get ahead of the schedule too much. We don't officially start until August 4th and we still have summer activities like swimming and soccer to work around, so I don't expect to be on our true schedule until September. Until then, we just tackle our daily schedule by fitting it in where we can, making sure it all gets done each day. So far, so good. I'll probably write more about school in the weeks to come, as I imagine there might be a few of you with questions of what they will be learning and how it will all work, so I'll continue to expand on our homeschool adventure as we go.

I had to rip out my tunic WIP!!! Ug!! I could tell it was going to be too small so I ripped it out and am starting over tomorrow with a bigger hook. I crochet with a tighter tension these days and I think that's the reason it wasn't working. Oh well, like I haven't ripped out a WIP before.

Ok, off to the shower and then bed. We have a full day of swimming, school work, and playing buccaneers ahead of us tomorrow and if I don't get enough sleep, I'll be walking (crawling) the plank!!

Finally, My Second Bit of News!!

2008-07-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

So sorry I didn't post right away. You'll probably understand why when I tell you the news I spoke of last post. First, NO, I am not pregnant. I need to lose a couple of dresses sizes before I visit that topic...:)

Before I tell you, I should back up and say that we made this decision a while ago, but I wanted to make sure all of our family was told before putting it on a blog. After lots of prayerful consideration, we pulled our 2 boys out of school. There were lots of reasons for doing this. Some were school related and I don't want to get into bad mouthing anyone, but we absolutely knew that our youngest could not and would not go through what his older brother did. We wanted to include other subjects into their studies that just aren't possible otherwise. So, here's the news: We are homeschooling our boys this Fall. For the last several months I have been blessed with a great friend to help mentor me in this process. She has homeschooled her children for several years and has done it well. She has been guiding us through all of the aspects of homeschooling, coursework, and scheduling issues. I feel REALLY confident that we can do this. I don't know if I have mentioned before, but I was a high school religion teacher for 4 years prior to having children and taught adult students at a local college for a few years in the recent past. Lesson planning, teaching, grading, juggling students isn't anything new to me.

So, this past week, instead of posting, I have been teaching. I didn't want the boys to get overwhelmed with work, so we have been doing a modified schedule to get them use to how the day will work and also they now have a head start on some of their subjects. We are doing Math, Phonics, Handwriting and we started Spelling last week. Today we are adding in English. Our first "true" day of homeschooling with all subjects will be August 4th. History, Geography and Science will begin then. Piano for the oldest will come in late September and German (their choice of foreign lang.) will start in the fall as well. They will continue to do Swimming year round as well as sports (Soccer should start within the coming weeks).

I'll write more about it in the coming weeks, but that's the reason for the delay in my post. Ok, onto weight loss...

I completed my first week of Body For Life and was really pleased with how I did. No cheating and no tweaking of the plan. I'll check my progress at the end of week 4. I am concentrating on just following each day as written and doing what's required. It's a great plan to follow for a homeschooler in that it's very straight forward, easy to follow, inexpensive, and I am not eating separate meals from the family at dinnertime. I am using the BFL cookbook and making meals from it. I wrote out a 3 week menu plan of BFL meals so that I can eat with the family and get everyone eating healthier as well!

As far as crocheting goes, I am making a test pattern for a sleeveless tunic for a fellow crocheter on crochetville. I plan to wear it in late August during a family wedding weekend. I can't wait to show you the color!!! I have a few ideas for fall patterns but still need entries into the contest!! Please keep looking for me!!

I'm Back!!!

2008-07-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

There really wasn't any good time to get online and write a post for the blog, so sorry for the wait.

Wow! There is so much to tell you, where to start? Ok, first off, our English Shepherd, Mollie, may be well on her way to having puppies. Seems her "husband", Jack, finally, well, um, you know...anyway, I'll let you know how that one turns out...

The beach trip was fantastic, lots of fun and lots of soul searching.

I have a couple of items to share with you. First, the weight loss war. I truly think I am not any better off than I was when I took my first before pictures. The weight is still the same and I swear the waist in inches keeps moving like a see-saw. I feel like I am just treading water, or more appropriately, moving deck chairs on the Titanic. If you go back to the first entry of this blog, or the description of this blog, you'll find a mentioning of me following the Body For Life Program. It got me thinking, what happened with that? I know what happened with that. I did what I have done all the other 6-7 tries I have given the program: I refuse at some point to totally commit to it and start to tweak the program beyond recognition. Then, I tell myelf it's not working and I look for something else. That, my friends, is my first revelation. I don't want to do what I need to do. Deep down, I want to eat the way I did when I was 20 and a size 10.

I have come to a point where I want to complete the 12 week challenge, not because I might lose fill in the blank pounds, but because I want to say "I did it!". I want to follow the challenge to completion and not tweak it to death. I have no idea what kind of weight loss I'll have, but honestly, is what I have been doing, namely floundering around, been helpful? Nope. So, here I go, Body For Life Challege, try number 8. Eight's the charm, right? I feel different about it this time.

I asked my Mom to stock my frig with food for the program before I got home and I am ready to go, right now! Who's with me? Anyone else out there want to try it? Google the website to read about it. Honestly, you don't need to buy any books. All of the basic info is available as free downloads on their website. I'm not waiting for Monday. Tomorrow I'll start eating according to the plan and then Monday I'll start counting the weeks. I'll retake some pics on Monday, but don't count on me to focus on weight loss at first. I am all about completing each day's requirements and eating "clean" as it's called. One day at a time. One workout at a time.

This is a REALLY long post, so I'll write my second bit of news tomorrow evening!

Keep those entries for the contest coming!!

Ready to Roll....

2008-07-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

The car is packed and we are ready to leave on our, gulp, 12 hour trip to North Carolina with 2 boys and one very obstinate 21 month old girl. Gulp. What were we thinking? Oh well, pray that it goes fast- well as fast as 12 hours can go.

I'll take some pics of me while on the beach, but honestly, there is absolutely no difference from what I look like now and my last progress pics. I've done alot of thinking this week about what I want to do and how I need to do it, and I have some plans to tell you about when I return. Expect a lot of changes to the blog, and to my diet plan/exercise.

Please keep the Cool Weather Clothing Crochet Pattern Contest entries coming in. I'll be sure to write a post or two while on vacation!

Hand, Foot, and Mouth, Oh My!!!

2008-06-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's running amok in my house! Hand, foot and mouth disease, Yikes! Our toddler girl had it first, followed by my dh. Now my oldest ds has it and I think I am the latest to get hit. Just one ds to go and it will be a done deal. My throat hurts and I think I have a sore on the inside of my mouth. Did I mention it's my turn to cantor tomorrow morning? Might not be pretty....

Did you ever have one of those weeks where you felt like nothing, and I mean nothing, was going right? Well, I envy those people, because my week was worse. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. Well, I'm the bug. Nah, that's an insult to the bug. I'm the icky stuff left behind from the bug from the week before.

I have spent most of the week cheating on my diet plan, not exercising, and trying on clothes to boot! I'm not sure what it is...is it that the beach trip is here and I don't feel or look any different than I did during our last beach trip? Or is it that I feel as if my body is working against me, refusing to acknowledge my efforts with a few meager pounds? Or is the anxiousness and fear that it just might not come off? I don't know, truly. I might have even put back on the inch from my waist that I just lost. I'm afraid to look.

What I do know is this. Come heck or high water, I will make the weight come off. One great thing about the beach, besides being with family, is that it gives me time to think of what I truly want and see for myself. I have lots of ideas and vision, I just need the commitment to see them become reality.

Hey, don't forget the contest! You have a few weeks, so please keep looking. We leave for the beach on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I'll write again before we leave and at least a couple of times while we're away. My latest crochet project was completed last night. I tried it on this morning and I have one word for you: ICK! It looks terrible on me! I think I have the "Reverse Midas Touch." Oh well, I can only go up from here, right? Oh, I do hope this is the bottom and there's not more to come...it's my turn to be the windshield!!

***Note about the contest: You CAN submit multiple entries!****

Cool Weather Crochet Pattern Contest

2008-06-24T06:20:00.001-07:00

Ok, here it is, a chance to scour the internet to find a great crochet clothing pattern for me to wear this Fall/Winter. The contest will last until July 20th, to allow me time to go through the patterns after the beach trip. I'm looking for tops, long sleeve and short sleeve (it's still warm here even into October), or pullovers, cardigans, skirts, even dresses! Remember to look for something not too bulky, to show off the shape I am working towards :) For pattern size purposes, my chest is about a 38.

It can be a pattern that is from a free website, magazine, book, or that would need to be purchased online. If it's a good one, I don't mind spending the money to purchase a pattern. If a picture exists, just provide the link to the pattern in your contest entry/comment. After I get back from the beach, I'll narrow it down to a handful of patterns or by category, depending on the number of entries, and I'll let you decide through a poll!

Now, to the prizes. I've been thinking of this for awhile and here's what I've come up with: The winner will have their choice of 3 prizes.

Choices for First Prize are:

1. Amazon gift certificate for $26 (orders over $25 get free shipping). This is for the non-crocheter or for the crocheter who is wanting a crochet book or anything else they have!

2. A gift card for $25/26 (will they let me do $26?) to Joanne's/Michael's/Hobby Lobby, which ever is closest to you!

3. This one is for all of the out of the U.S. folks, who might be limited in their crochet choices. I'll purchase the yarn (brand and color your choice) equal to $26 dollars, and mail it to you, shipping on me! I'm thinking of those is Aussie, for example, who I've heard complain about the lack of yarn and the cost of what's available. That $26 will go alot farther here!

So, there you are! Happy Hunting!!!

Some Beach...Some Where....

2008-06-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

I've got that song in my head and I am so ready for the beach! But first I need to finish my last project!!! How fast can these hands crochet? I think I am going to find out, because it's going to take several marathon sessions to get 'er done!

I managed to get up at 6:30 this morning and did 3 miles on the treadmill. We are starting a new schedule this week for myself and the children and my day starts with the treadmill or exercise tapes. Unfortunately, my daughter has some type of psychic connection with me and the second I get on the treadmill, she's awake! Well, that's what God invented cribs for! She managed to stay fairly content while I finished up and I even squeezed in a quick shower. Now we are off to swim class for the boys. The afternoon will be taken up with Math lessons (continuing to catch them up) and getting ready for baseball this evening...if it doesn't rain. Happy Monday everyone! Contest information comes tomorrow so be looking for it! I have some good prizes for it!

Fun Day Ahead!

2008-06-20T05:08:00.000-07:00

We're taking today to have some overdue fun. First we are off to the local Zoo to see the jellyfish exhibit and then off to Chucky Cheese, which is fulfilling a promise to my boys for working so hard on their school work. I think they have a salad bar so no worries there. If there is time, we might head over to a paint your own pottery store to make a present or two. There's a circus in town this weekend and I might take the children. My dh has to get the hay cut and brought in before our beach trip, so unfortunately, we'll be going without him.

I am doing some super crocheting right now to get my last "beach" project done. Every free moment that I can get a hook in my hand, I will be working on it!

After the beach trip I will make one more summer project for the wedding in August and then I am going to start working on Fall projects. Look for a post soon announcing a contest to find the coolest, most flattering cold weather patterns for me to make. It can be a free pattern or one I would have to purchase. So, start looking!!

I am STILL working on that last inch off my waist before the beach! Over the weekend I will be finishing a couple of cleaning and organizing projects and then I am going to get the exercising is turbo gear! Happy Friday everyone!

Life Is Good...

2008-06-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

Just two weeks until the beach and my house resembles a bad circus act, but surprisingly, I'm feeling good. Did I make my goal? Nope. But I look and feel so much better than I did just a few months ago and I am on my way. I tried on a bunch of clothes from a few summers ago and was glad to see that they fit! It will make getting ready for the beach so much easier! I'm going to buy a few new tanks and nicer tops but I still have some nicer shorts to wear.

I have cantor practice tonight and I have no idea what I'll be singing- hope I know a few of the selections! LOL...

I was able to get through a chapter of math for each of my boys while my toddler slept. They are coming along so well in their math and reading now!

Our toddler was sick over the last 2 days and it was horrible! She at one point had a fever of 104.0!!!! It came out of nowhere and left as quick as it showed up without any other symptoms, so we are clueless to what caused the fever other than an un-named virus.

I am back to crocheting and was working on a project last night. If I can get just one more project done before the beach, I will be so pleased!

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

I got to spend the morning "reliving the glory days" so to speak- we had breakfast at my grandparents house. Papa came home for the morning and while it wasn't quite like the artery clogging breakfasts of the past (same food, just not as crazy), it was nice to be together with Papa for Father's day. My own DH had to work some this afternoon, but I think he still had a nice day.

I made the mistake of thinking I could give up caffiene cold turkey yesterday. Boy, the headache that I had today was enough to have me running, screaming in the pasture! By 1 p.m., I was sick and felt like I had a tight helmet on my head. After a nap I felt a little better, but decided maybe I need to taper off for the sake of my family's sanity! So I drank about 1 1/2 cups of coffee, headache went mostly away and I think tomorrow I will aim for a little less until I am down to 0 caffiene.

So, I have 2 weeks left to the beach and lots to accomplish in that time. Although I had on a pair of pants this morning that were loose (they were very tight when I bought them!), I still have a long way to go. I aiming for one more inch off my waist before the beach and then 2 inches more before the family wedding at the end of August. If I stay on track, I should be close to my goal by my daughter's second birthday. I'll post pics just before the beach trip for you to see my progress.

By the way, we haven't heard any more information on the hidden camera in the bathroom. Looking to see if there is any news this week. I'll let you know!

Lastly, I haven't been working on any particular project the last few days (I know, get moving!!), but it has been so hard to stay focused! I feel so scattered! I need to get a schedule going for myself and the children. They are working on some academic goals right now- my oldest is very behind in his math and his reading is really improving. My youngest son is advanced in math and wants to read like his brother. I am loving it! A month or so ago, I had to force my oldest to read and now he's begging me to let him stay up and read in bed! They were both excited that they could read in the car! Awesome!

I need to pick one last project to finish before the beach and "get er' done"! I'll look through my graveyard of unfinished projects from the last 5-6 weeks and pick one to get rolling on tomorrow. Hope Father's day was a good one for your family!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-06-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

My 38th birthday greeted me with another 1/2 inch off my waist. Everything else is the same as last progress check. That's 4 inches from my waist since January. I'll take it! I usually find myself counting my blessings on my birthday, so I've been running a list in my head. I'm blessed to have a wonderful husband (14 year wedding anniversary tomorrow), 3 awesome children, a great Mom ( and Dad!) who watched my children so I could get some time away and a well-needed haircut. She made a birthday cake for me with them children as well. They were so proud! I'm blessed by wonderful friends and family, who thought to call me today and wish me well. I'm blessed with my husband's family, especially his parents and siblings and their spouses. I'm blessed with a wonderfull house and land for our children to explore as they get older. But most of all, I am blessed with a God who loves me and gives me hope. I may not be at my goal, but I am getting there and I have no doubts that I will get there. Happy Birthday to me!

Not The Day I Intended!

2008-06-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt like myself for a couple of days and I feel very powerless to change. We heard on the news that the photography studio that I have taken our 3 children to for the past year had a secret camera in the bathroom. I am just horrified! From what we know, they do have a suspect in mind (as do I!) and charges are pending, but they have not named anyone yet. I don't know how long the camera was there or the extend of it's use (did the suspect put images on the internet?). I have to say that I have been doing awesome on my diet and exercise, but the last 24 hours (since seeing pictures of the bathroom on the news) I have blown my diet big time. I want to scream or cry or both! The thought that someone may have taken images of my children or myself in the bathroom is really sending me into quite a freaked out state! I'll let you know when there is more information available. Pray for my nerves!

I have been trying to work on a tunic that I am testing for someone, and I don't think my skills are up to par. I am ripping my work out left and right and at this point I am going to have to email her to tell her I'm not going to be able to complete the project for her. I hate doing that, but there are so many wonderful crocheters out there who would do a much better job for her than me. If you are reading this from crochetville, see the tunic in the pattern testing section.

I have only 20 some days left to the beach and I haven't done anything to prepare as I usually do. It's time to admit that I can't get every crochet project done that I'd like to before the beach. I think I am going to get one top done in the next two weeks and then switch gears to Fall items when I return from vacation.

Please don't give up on me! I'm not done with this challenge yet! I just need to extend my timeline and wardrobe to include the Fall months. There are some wonderful patterns out there to make for a leaner body like I hope to have! My new deadline is my daughter's birthday at the end of September. I am going to have pictures taken of myself and my children for my husband's birthday (in November but I'll do them in early October). I want to wear something I've made (in the picture) looking fantastic in a healthier, leaner, body. Maybe I'll do one picture of just me! I haven't done that in a long time! Come to think of it, most pictures of me, my children are strategically placed in front! Imagine that, a picture of just me. That's a good goal.

Today Was Sheep Shearing Day At Our Homestead!

2008-06-01T17:15:00.000-07:00

With the help of my parents (THANKS!!!!!) and our children (THANKS!), we were able to get our 4 Finn yearling ewes shorn today and the sheep seem much happier! One of the ewes, Rachel, had a beautiful fleece and I hope I can get some yarn from it. Here's a picture of Abby, the first to go "under the shears"

I'll have more to write tomorrow- it's bedtime for all of our little farmers!

Hot Mama Swimsuit Is Now Available Through E-Patterns!

2008-06-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

Hey, just wanted to let my fellow crocheters know that the Swimsuit I made from Crochet Magazine is now Available through E-Patterns and it's under $3.00! If you don't have a copy of that issue, but wanted to make the swimsuit, now's your chance! Here's the link:
http://www.e-patternscentral.com/detail.html?prod_id=4118&cat_id=472&criteria

I've Got The Plates A Spinnin'

2008-05-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been MIA! With the details of finishing school and getting our ducks in a row for summer activities and oh yeah, baseball for 2 boys on different teams, I've been a tad busy. I have 3 different crochet projects in the works, and hope to have at least one to show you by next weekend. Nothing to report results wise- I just keep chugging along. I'll check my progress again on my birthday- June 10th. I need to get my youngest son to baseball practice and I'm going to walk on the path around the ball park. Happy weekend!!

Can You Believe It?

2008-05-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

The Trellis Boatneck Shell is done, can you believe it? I love it! It's a fantastic loden green color (see details on yarn and pattern in previous post). The color isn't showing up as well as I'd like. The only place I have found a swatch online is at

http://www.bernat.com/product.php?LGC=satin , the Forest Heather Mist shade.

I stayed up late last night to finish it and just sewed the shoulder seems together today. Now, on to my next project! Will have details on that tomorrow. Getting on the treadmill now....

Progress Pictures Taken Today

2008-05-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Picture on left is from today. Picture in center is from April 22nd. Picture on the right is my first before picture taken in January.

Sorry these aren't the greatest quality, but I wanted to post a couple of pictures of my progress so far. Honestly, I couldn't see any difference in the front view pictures from my last progress pictures, but I think I do see a difference in the side view pictures. Is it me or is there more definition between my chest and stomach? Thanks for your continual support. It helps more than you know! Carey

It's Been Rumored That I Died.....

2008-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

Nope, I'm still here! The week got busy, the crocheting went slowly, blah, blah, blah....
But I have lots to share!!! First, my plan of "eat better, eat less, move more" is in fact , WORKING! I haven't dared to get on the scale, but the inches continue to move down. I took my measurements on Sunday morning and so far
I have lost (since January):
Waist: 3 1/2 inches
Hips: 1 1/2 inches
Under bra: 1 1/2 inches
Arms: 1/3 inch
Thighs are freakish: 1 inch off of right and little to nothing on left...What?????But that's what the records say!
A great deal of that progress has occurred in the last 2 weeks. I'm not going to write about what I'm doing specifically until I see more progress, but I'm not doing anything like cutting out complete food groups. I meant to post a pic of me, but didn't get to it. I'll make sure to get a pic of me next weekend.
I am posting pics of my two latest projects. The first is the long awaited Upsy Daisy Poncho. I have pictured it on top of a white tank top, which is probably how I'll wear it at the beach. Love, Love, Love it!!
The second project is kind of a surprise. I made an extra large version of http://www.crochetkitten.com/ 's Quahog Beach Bag, which is a free pattern. I am horrible at putting in liners into purses, as I have discovered! I'm kind of pressed for time (exercise calls), so I'll post the pic of the bag and details about yarn used, etc. later on tonight after the children are in bed.
I'll also reveal my next project which is already in the works. I'll give you a hint, it's from Amy Swenson's Sensual Crochet.

******Update: As you can see, I finally got the pictures of the beach bag loaded onto the blog. The yarn used for the bag come from Lily Sugar and Cream. I'm missing the yarn wrappers, but the colors are from their new Confectioners line. I lucked out and found this wonderful fabric for the liner. They look perfect together!
The Poncho was done in Paton's Grace yarn, blush and a brown (I think labeled tan but it's a very rich brown). If you decide to give this pattern a try, I highly recommend the Grace yarn for both beauty and price. They have some great colors!
So my next project....I actually started it on Friday. I am doing (insert drum roll here): the Trellis Boatneck Shell from Amy Swenson's Sensual Crochet. I love every design in this book and if you're looking to find hip, wonderful patterns, she's your gal. Here's the link to her book on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Sensual-Crochet-Luxurious-Alluring-Designs/dp/1402749198/ref=cm_cmu_pg_t
There, you will be able to look at 11 images from the book. The Trellis Boatneck Shell is image #5 (purple). Obviously, a tank top will be worn underneath! I'd love to post a pic from the book on my blog, but without having spoken to the designer first, I don't feel comfortable doing it. The yarn I am using is Bernat Satin in the Forest Mist Heather (deep loden green). It is going to look fantastic with a white or brown tank and cacky shorts! I hope to have it done by the end of the week so I can get to my next project.

Crocheting in Slow Gear!

2008-05-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know what my problem is, but I am struggling to get these two projects done! Evenings tends to be my only time to crochet and the last two days I have planned to crochet, only to go to bed or watch tv. At this rate, I'll never get anything done! I just put the kids in bed, so if I make this post a quick one, I should have time to complete them.

On the diet/exercise front, my husband suggested the other day that I don't lack effort, I lack consistency and he is right. I keep looking at what others are doing and am so fretful that what I'm doing won't work, that I don't stick with anything long enough to form a good opinion. I've been trying to do my own thing and am trying to be like a horse with blinders on-stay focused on what I need to do and not worry about what others are doing. I rarely buy exercise or diet magazines for that very reason. There's always some new plan they are touting and I can get easily distracted.

I still plan to take pics of myself this weekend, which is definately an incentive to keep moving and eating well. I guess I'm in a weird stage- nothing to report or show for my efforts yet, but stay tuned! I'm working towards a goal and I am determined to get there!

Happy Mothers Day!!

2008-05-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd better write a quick post to fill you in on life at the homestead. I exercised for most of the week, but had a real hard time sticking to my diet, especially the last few days. We went out to eat this morning and after listening to our 19 month old daughter scream through most of it, we decided that this would be our last dining excursion out with the children for awhile. Just way too hard and way too stressful! But even with her screaming and the boys bickering, I wouldn't trade life with my three treasures for anything. And I have one great husband! He really tried to make the day a happy and relaxing one, which isn't easy in this house!

I was up until 1 am last night working on the Upsy Daisy Poncho. Thanks Cindy for clarifying the directions for me. I forgot about the fringe that goes on it, so I'll need to work on that tomorrow evening. The shawl for my aunt is complete- decided against fringe for it, so it's ready to be photographed and given to her.

The beach bag I am working on is almost done. I am putting the liner in right now and should have it done tomorrow evening. I ended up doing alot of ripping out of yarn the last few days, but I think it's going to look awesome!

This is going to be a tremendously busy week, but with the house in good shape (thanks to rain keeping us inside and working on the house instead of the farm), I think staying on top of things should be easier than the past few weeks. I have plenty of healthy meal choices in the house and I am ready to go! As soon as I post pics of my finished projects, I'll show you what I am working on next! Happy Mothers Day!

And The Beat Goes On....

2008-05-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm still here. I got an email from my best friend, who noticed I hadn't posted on the blog since Wednesday and wanted to make sure I was ok. That got me to thinking that she might not be the only one wondering about me, so I better update the blog!

The last few days have been VERY busy and I have been watching what I eat and exercising. By the way, the treasure left in the DVD/VCR was a pen cap. So the VCR portion no longer works, but my DH got the DVD part working so I can still use my DVDs to exercise.

I'm waiting for some extra instruction to finish the Upsy Daisy Poncho, but in the meantime, I decided to work on a beach bag. I am going to get some fabric tomorrow from Hobby Lobby when I go to see my Papa and then I should have it done by Wednesday to post pics of it as well as a link to the pattern.

I am planning a super agressive week for exercise and diet. I'm on the attack! Ha! I'll be doing cardio and toning everyday as well as extra walking at the ballpark when possible.

My next scheduled time to cantor is May 18th so I thought that might be a good time to take some new progress pictures. So look for them that Sunday or Monday morning.

I am SOSOSOSOSOSO much better now that I am concentrating on the routine and not the scale. I'm trying to take it week by week and upping my performance each week based on how I did the previous week. When I was trying to deliver my first child, I did much better with handling labor and pushing when I concentrated on what I needed to do and not the labor contraction monitor. Ok, so the fact that I had to have a c-section after 2 1/2 hrs. of pushing is probably not making this a good analogy, but you get the point :)

The beach trip is fast approaching and I have very little from my dream list made, so I need to really step up the work! I know I won't be at my goal weight then, but I am looking for progress and our family still has a big wedding at the end of August to give me incentive. And you know, it's really ok if I have to extend my timeline. It's not about when it happens, it's that it actually DOES happen. I told a good friend this week that I can't reach my goal size and still weigh what I do, so at some point the scale will need to catch up, and I can't control that. But I can exercise, eat less, and eat better.

I'm going to get moving so I get my chores done and have time to walk this afternoon.

Deciding My Next Project

2008-04-30T06:40:00.000-07:00

Today is all about crochet. I am finishing the Upsy Daisy Poncho- it connects with a very easy stitch, but I must have failed the connect the dot portion of Kindergarten because I am having such a tough time getting them joined correctly. I think I am going to join them first with ribbon so that they don't slip out of place.

I am also finishing a double petal shawl, also from Cindy Kamps. She has such wonderful pieces to crochet! My Aunt's church is doing a fundraiser/relay for the American Cancer Society this June in honor of their pastor's wife who died of cancer last year. Their symbol is butterflies, particularly purple ones, so I am making a tan colored shawl and will attach lavender butterflies. I think I'm also going to make a few baby/child sized ponchos for them to sell as well.

I was certain of what project I wanted to make next, and now I can't make up my mind. Too many beautiful patterns out there! I do have a few things lined up to make, but want to do something next that is very simple and quick. I'm open to suggestions! I might do a poll with pictures to see what you think the next project should be. Feel free to send me a link to a pattern in the comments and I'll take a look!

On the weight-loss effort front, I'm still staying on track. Our DVD player in the family room had a visit from our daughter yesterday, and now it won't work! So the treadmill and free weights will have to be my routine until we either retrieve whatever treasure she placed within the DVD player, or we purchase a new one.

My DSIL gave us their DVD player recently and we have it in the new den (read: place where children are not to visit), but we really need the one in the family room because it's a DVD/VCR combo and we still use the VCR part often.

I have to tell you about yesterday. We went to visit Papa and he encouraged our daughter to drink from a straw for the first time! She ended up drinking most of his juice! She then came home and successfully climbed onto a kitchen chair (also a first). I found her going through her 6 yr. brother's homework. She's growing so fast!

There was a sock-hop at the nursing home yesterday (after we left) and Mom said that Papa danced with her twice! Papa and my Grandmother once took dancing lessons and he is quite good. I was so happy to hear that he danced!

One blessing from this time in our family's life is that for the first time in a very long time we are all (well, almost all) united as a family in a common goal- to make the most of this time we have with Papa while he still remembers us and to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. My Mom and Aunt visit daily, as well as my Dad and Uncle, and other family members visit as often as they can. There really will come a time when we look back on these days as golden, and Papa, whether he realizes it or not, has given his family back a precious gift we had lost, namely, each other.

Feelin' Groovy....

2008-04-29T05:44:00.000-07:00

This has been a busy and yet good week so far. I did as I said I would (ooh, feeling a little Horton hears a Who), but really, I did! Yesterday, I did an hour of cardio and weights and ate pretty darn well. Baseball practice for my oldest got rained out so I didn't get to add in walking, but it was a bonus and not a necessity. This morning I am headed out for a very important concert, namely singing for Papa. I've been practicing for him and and his roomate, Lou.

But I knew I needed to get in my exercise before I left or it wouldn't get done, and hey, I did it (and I might get electrocuted for sweating on my keyboard). There's another practice tonight so I am going to walk then, but it's a bonus. I don't want to rely on those walks because they can get easily cancelled.

I forgot to mention in my last post that I sang again in Church this past Sunday. I think I did well, but you know the second you think you're a rock star, you really realize you're so NOT one. At one point I looked for my family to see their reaction and they were all in the "cry" room, my husband watching our now 19 month old daughter and talking away to someone, and my boys had their backs to me, watching their sister play with another toddler. Gee, I am just sooooo impressive aren't I? Opera star, I am not. I did mess up during one song and actually giggled at myself. No one seem to notice, but I did. We always notice our screw ups, don't we? Oh well, no one cared, especially not me. I'm not there to receive praise, but to give praise to God. Plain and simple.

I need to hit the showers, but I have to say I am LOVING not getting on the scale. I am just focusing on eating less, eating better and moving more with a little less carbs and more water. If it works, I'm writing a book called "Don't Buy Me, You Can Figure This Out For Yourself."

What I Know...

2008-04-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

The last fews days haven't been very pretty, let me tell you. I don't have this thing figured out, but I do know the following:

I am NOT meant to weigh myself weekly and then face the results of that number with others watching and THEN go sit in a chair and listen to how others lost several pounds in the last week, while I'm just trying real hard to stare at the floor without crying.

Just the thought of getting in my car on Monday to go to the weigh in makes me sick and I have found myself at least 3 times in the last 24 hours, mess up my eating because this growing voice inside me says " it doesn't matter". I keep fighting that voice, but you know, right now, the voice has evidence to back it up, so it makes it hard to argue with it.

I also know that I just don't have time to waste trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong or that I need to just stick in out for sometime and I'll start to see results. I am so sick of this being the end all and be all of my day. I am willing to work hard, but I need to see the payoff. Would you show up to a job and work hard only to have your boss not pay you, but promise to pay you in the future and then several weeks later, you still haven't been paid? How long would you last?

I just can't face Monday. Everytime I think about it, I cringe. I know that no matter how hard I work, or how well I eat, the chances of seeing a good result are close to nothing. The chances of me crying in the parking lot are a WAY lot better.

So, what do I do? Part of me really just wants to set simple eating goals, with less carbs, and do lots of cardio and see how it goes. No points, just eat less, eat better, and move more. And I really don't want to look at the scale for awhile nor sit in room with people all excited about their success while I try desparately to hold it together. I want to just look at inches lost and how much energy I've gained and the heck with that @*&(^%!!! scale. I've wasted half the week trying to get over Monday only to find myself ruining the last 2 days fearing that all my efforts don't matter anyway.

I tell you, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can tell you that I won't be there on Monday. I'll be on my treadmill or doing my Biggest Loser DVD. I won't be defeated by a number. My success is not going to be determined by a number beneath my feet.

A Quick Update on Papa

2008-04-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

Papa is doing well. We spent the day with him and the family at the hospital and he loved spending time with my daughter (boys were at school). His surgery went well, although his pulse dropped to 30 during the procedure. But the pacemaker is in and his pulse was 70 this evening. I'm going to go back to visit on Friday. If you knew my Papa, you would know he's worth the hour drive, the cost in gas money, the repercussions of a toddler not getting a nap...I'd visit him everyday if I could.

I was SO DARN ANGRY this evening that I hate to report that I blew off my eating plan. Not a good excuse, I know. Did you ever feel so powerless that it ate at you until you had to eat? That was me today. I don't want to say too much regarding family matters, but my grandmother is being a VERY difficult person to love right now. I did something this afternoon, I never thought I'd do: I stood up to her. You know, when you take that vow to love someone in sickness and in health, it doesn't just mean YOUR health. It means your SPOUSE! I know I'm not the only one angry about this in our family, and I don't see them eating themselves into oblivion, so I have to figure out a way to give it to God and not my stomach, because I'm pretty sure my stomach isn't in control, as much as it feels like it is sometimes.

I am going to make a to do list for tomorrow, keeping it short and including exercise, and then get to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I once told a good friend to concentrate on those things you can control and influence. My home, my body, my attitude, these are all things I can control and influence, so that is where I have to give my focus. I need to get back to the basics of what I want and what I need to do for myself and family and stop worrying about things not of my doing or control. It all sounds good, but can I do it?

You Saved Me From Cheating Tonight!!

2008-04-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

I got up today and was determined to keep going. I ate within my daily points, did not only 20 minutes on the treadmill going 4.0 to 5.0 mph, but also did about 30 minutes of fast walking with the stroller around the ball park this evening. When I got home, I was SOSOSOSOSOSOOSO HUNGRY!!!

I was just about to say what the heck and eat extra food when I sat down to check out the blog. You're kind words really saved the day. Wow! But reading that I'm not the only one struggling really made me say, "give it some time, get your crochet out and see if that hunger isn't really boredom". Ok, so I'm still hungry, but I'm less tempted :)

I wanted to ask all of you to please keep my Papa in your prayers. He is having a pace maker put in tomorrow afternoon and his pulse (as low as 33 today) is a real concern to our family. He's a truly great man- I wish I could tell you his full story, but there might be little eyes reading over your shoulder and Papa would never want them to know...I'll just say that Papa is someone specially chosen by God to give joy to children, for a few weeks out of the year, and has done so for over 30 years, or at least until his illness became to much. I'll let you think on that one and I'll bet you can guess what I am talking about.

Papa was not really treated well as a child. His father died when he was 10 and his Mom remarried a man who was mean to him. His mother was not an affectionate woman to her children and that's about the kindest I've heard it described to me.

He went to live with an aunt and uncle when he was 13 and according to the family, he fibbed about his age to join the Navy when he was 16 or 17. During his tour on an LST in WWII, a Japanese plane took aim on his ship and at the last minute, turned on the ship next to them. It was the SS John Burke. There were no survivors. Check out this web site for the story. If you read the journal provided, you'll see Papa's ship, the LST 751
http://www.ussbush.com/slotow.htm

Papa hadn't finished high school and so when I was a child, he went back for his diploma. I still remember the party we had. I guess he wanted us to see him finish his education. By then, he already had his "special job" and had visited hundreds of children at that time of year when children most need the joy only he could provide. It was very special if you were asked to go along with him as his assistant. I got to go a couple times. Ok, I'm going to stop before I get electrocuted from crying on my keyboard. Pray for him. Will write on his progress tomorrow evening. Thanks again and I promise I won't go grab a cookie now!

I'm Just Wallowing in Self-Pity Over Here...

2008-04-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

The good news is that I had my blood drawn today to make sure there isn't anything wrong with my thyroid or metabolism and it all came back as ideal. The bad news, the REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD news is that after a week of working hard and sticking to my points, I not only gained back what I had lost last week, I actually gained back a few ounces on top of that!

So there I am sobbing, and I do mean, pour your heart out sobbing, into to the phone to my wonderful husband in the Weight Watchers parking lot. "Why can't I lose this weight?" Gosh, the moment is still so raw for me that I can't go back to it to tell you about it now. Just overwhelming, no, more like drowning. Yea, that's the word, drowning. I'm drowning in this weight and it doesn't matter how many life preservers get thrown to me, I can't escape. But to add to it, I'm watching others grab their life preserver and go and there I am, trying and nothing happens. I keep looking at the pictures I've posted. I think I look a little better, but to find myself almost at the end of April and still waiting to see consistent weight loss- it's just heart wrenching.

I don't know what to do other than to keep going. I don't know what it's going to take to make this weight go. Maybe I could just cry it all out of me? Do tears weigh 60 pounds?

How Am I Doing So Far?

2008-04-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

I noticed today that I am wearing the same clothes from my Before picture taken in January so I thought I should just go ahead and take some pictures of where I am now, to see if I notice any difference. My husband did. What do you think?

PS: I am sucking in my stomach in BOTH pictures! Like I said in my first entry to this blog, when I took the before shots and sucked my stomach in, NOTHING moved!

Pictures on the left are the Before and the ones on the right are Today:

So, Do You See a Difference?

2008-04-19T11:53:00.001-07:00

A Better Saturday Than Usual

2008-04-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

I did a 46 minute fast walk with my daughter in the stroller around our town's ballpark this afternoon, so it feels good to have gotten that done. I've exercised 5 out of the last 6 days, and one of those days I threw in a second cardio workout so I feel really good about my efforts.

Last night I worked on the Upsy Daisy Poncho and have only one night's worth of work left to do on it. It's going to be so darn pretty!

We are having awesome weather today so we are going to grill dinner, which should help me keep my diet in check. I am getting nervous about Monday's weigh in. I don't want to expect any big number, but I hope to see the scale continue to move downward.

Two people stopped me yesterday to say nice things about my cantoring last week. Boy, does that make my day! My 18 month old daughter is beating up on her 6 year old brother so I need to break that up before he gets hurt! :)

Is That A Sniffle I Hear?

2008-04-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

Oh No!!! No more colds! I woke up congested this morning, but I am NOT letting it stop me! It's not bad enough to warrant medicine, so lets hope that's as bad as it gets.

Last night was crazy! Luckily, I got on the treadmill in the morning. After school I took my brood shopping for new baseball helmets, bats, and shoes. Not cheap, let me tell you! Anyway, we got home with 1 1/2 hrs left to eat dinner and do homework before my youngest son's practice scheduled for 6 pm. I discovered a message waiting for me that the coach of my oldest son had decided to call an impromptu practice at 7 pm! Suddenly, I was racing around trying to get everybody fed, homework done, equipment and water bottle ready to go. I hope these last minute practices are a rarity this season.

So I took our youngest son to his practice with our 18 month old and my husband took our oldest to his- 2 different parks, a couple of miles from each other. I was able to get in another 20 min. of walking, pushing the stroller over gravel and a good incline. But our daughter was ready to go home at 6:30 and was pretty much a crying mess for the next hour.

Our children go to bed at 8 pm, so practices that end at 7:30 and 8 are really hard on them. My oldest has a practice on Tuesdays from 8-9 pm!! He's only 9 for crying out loud! I spoke to the coach's wife about it and said that until school was out we would have to miss that one and she and her husband are very understanding about it.

Today will be busy but it's such a beautiful day! I'm going to get on the treadmill this morning and try another resistance tape as well. My oldest has practice again tonight (I know, crazy) at 6 pm. I'm going to walk with the stroller again, but I count it as a bonus and not as my cardio for the day.

I worked on the poncho again last night. I am close to done, folks! Woohoo, it's about time!

I can't wait to show you what my next 2 projects are going to be. They are quite cool and those from crochetville will definately recognize one of them!

I have the yarn already for one of them, but the other I plan to use some very exquisite yarn, but I can do it. I have been faithful to my diet, and am seeing progress! Next weigh-in is on Monday.

I'll post a pic of the poncho and the next project in the next few days. Maybe with Monday's weigh-in results.

Singing For Papa

2008-04-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

I had a very powerful visit with my grandfather. Papa, a WWII vet, used to take me to honkey tonks where he'd convince the band that I was good enough to sit in (whether I was or not). There was a certain set of songs that I used to sing and it's been years since I sang for him. My mom thinks he's in that last stage before he stops knowing who we are, so his memory is really gone. But, he knows who I am and he knows who my children are and boy, does he light up when he sees my daughter!

So, my mom asked me to sing for Papa and before I knew it, we were singing all of the old songs and a few times, I forgot the words and Papa remembered them! It was as if we were able to reach a piece of the old Tom, if only for a few minutes.

My mom was crying, I was crying, we think Papa was crying, heck, his room mate was crying! I promised Papa I would practice some more songs and come back next week to sing them for him.

It's becoming so much more real now. We are slowly losing him and at some point we are going to look back on these past months as our last golden moments with him and I intend to make the most of every moment with him that I can.

One thing, and I hate to say this out loud, but I'm really troubled that I didn't ever do the one thing he wanted. He always wanted me to "make it big". At one point, he was actually encouraging me to quit college to make a go of it. I never did, but I would LOVE to give him that- me singing with the big stars. Just one song. I might sound terrible, but to him, it would be great. That's the neat thing about Papas. They always see you way better than you actually are. I know, not going to happen, but just to see his face, with me up there on stage, dedicating a song to him, and he, still knowing who I am, and knowing that I did it would be awesome. A girl can dream, can't she? Anyone out there know Trace, Gretchen, or Brad? I'm just saying....:)

Hey Look, I'm a Widget or Blidget, or is that Gidget?

2008-04-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

I was looking at different widgets to add to my blog and found where you could make your own. Well Burt, whata ya know about that? That's pretty nifty! So, there I am, a blidget as it's called (like I have ANY clue what so ever about this stuff!). Feel free to add me, at the very least I'm something to laugh at....I mean with, laugh with...:)

EVERYBODY DAAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Everybody, please take this solemn moment to calm your self, find your happy place, and then....

Lean over and kiss your computer screen, the scale has moved downward!!!!!! Three Pounds!!!!

You can't see me right now, but I'm doin' a little dance with my keyboard, a littl' keyboard cha cha. Ok, you can't see me, but my 18 month old daughter can and she's giving me a look that says

" Oh, Mother, Pa-leeese don't embarrass me in cyberspace....just pull the computer over and let me out now before my friends see me"...but I digress.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.....

EVERYBODY DAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!

Ok, I'll calm down, but come on, I've been waiting on this for months!! I am going to just keep at it and work hard. I'm going to work on the Upsy Daisy Poncho during naptime and do the treadmill this evening. Can't tell you how excited I am. Yea Me!!! By the way, I'm down another inch on my waist (see the tracker below). I might just fit into this stuff that I'm making (not now, but you know what I mean).

I So Rocked the Church!!!

2008-04-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, let me clarify:

I So didn't shame my family!!! Woo! Yea!

Ok, I think that needs more clarification...by "rocking the church" I mean the following:

My sons didn't hide under the pews (actually my 9 year old was shaking his arm in the air at one point)
I didn't drop the music book (though I did put the microphone back incorrectly before Mass, and it dropped onto the podium as the lady before me made announcements..oops..my bad..)
I didn't cough into the microphone loudly between verses, causing me to miss the first few words of the next verse (had nightmares about that one)
Those who were taping Mass because their child was receiving First Communion didn't turn off their cam corders whenever I opened my mouth.
Lady sitting in first row with hearing aid didn't turn it off (I saw the cord coming from her ear and watched her through out the mass!)
Didn't see fellow parishoners make snarky looks at each other as I sang.

Ok, so essentially, as long as I showed up wearing appropriate clothing and wasn't booed from the podium, I can fairly say:

"I So Rocked the Church!"

I really enjoyed myself and have to say I loved seeing my boys so proud of their Mama. Both have talked about it all day. My parents came to hear me as well, which was really nice, except I get nervous around my Mom. Don't get me wrong, she's my biggest cheerleader, but her enthusiasm freaks me out sometimes and today was definately one of those times.

We went to Cracker Barrel, otherwise known as the cemetery where your entire daily intake of Weight Watcher points go to die a delicious, but very regretful death. I did pretty well. Under 10 points according to the tracker computer they have online. I had to get up and move though when my youngest son left almost a whole plateful of blueberry pancakes next to me...and that bowl of whipped cream just sitting there...calling me...Evil I know your name and it is called "my children's cast offs"!!! Why do we eat what our children won't? Have you ever seen plates left by other people at restaraunts? You'd sooner give birth without medication then eat from that plate, so why do we do it when it's from our children's plates? Are we trash cans? I say NO!!! I am not a human trash can!!

Wish me luck for tomorrow's weigh-in!!

Let the Good Times Roll....

2008-04-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday everyone! Sorry I didn't get around to posting again last night as I had promised. We had a homework frenzy occuring and boy, it was crazy in our house!

I'm having a pretty good day, as you can probably guess. I was pondering this past week and have a few observations. First, I think I have told pretty much anyone within the tri-county area that I have joined Weight Watchers, which somehow makes me feel more serious about my weight loss efforts.

Second, the closet eating has stopped. It doesn't matter when I eat, only how many points and staying within my allotted points. So I can eat at 11 pm if I want to, I just have to save a few points during the day for it. There's alot less guilt involved! Now, if I could just stop my closet shopping....Does your closet floor look like mine, essentially a dart board from all of my Target bags? If it's not one thing, it's another!!

Lastly, I have some really good friends and family members who have been very encouraging not just of my weight loss efforts, but in following my heart. It feels good to be thinking about how I see things for myself and family, along with husband. Sometimes I think I spend too much time on the sidelines being a cheerleader, and not a coach. It's nice to be a coach (except for getting Gatorade thrown on your head). If my 9 year old reads that, I'm doomed.

Wish me luck on Sunday that I don't completely mess up Cantoring!

***Update: Just discovered that the daughter of a good friend is receiving First Communion during the mass I am cantoring...feel no pressure...oh man, just realized: since it's a 1st communion, someone's bound to film it! Yikes, Evidence of the crime !!***

Still Plowing Along

2008-04-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

Yep, I think that best describes the state of things in our house and in my life. My husband and I cleaned out and reorganized a huge closet in our "new" den and I can't believe the difference. I was ironing clothes this morning and I heard my 9 year old son give his 6 year old brother a tour of Daddy and Mommy's handywork. Very Cute. He has a future on the Price is Right.

I walked for 45 minutes last night, going as fast as I can. That's 3 days in a row for those who are counting. Today is slip cover day at our house. The ones I ordered look terrible so I am off to find better ones today for our older family room furniture. I'm thinking maybe denim. I'm just waiting to call my DMIL for advice. She's the family style guru. Kind of a Candice Olsen meets Neicy Nash, but without all the head movement. All of our homes look like versions of her home, which is fine by me. I don't have that kind of talent to put a room together- I need someone to tell me what works and what doesn't. Otherwise, we'd all be sitting in lawnchairs while I tried to figure out how to safely use our firepit in the family room. Ok, so I'm not that bad, but still, you won't be hiring me as a consultant any time soon!

I'll write more later this evening after my workout.

"Never Look Back Darling. It Distracts From the Now"

2008-04-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm paraphrasing Edna from the Incredibles. Wise woman, that Edna. You know how when you're afraid of heights and someone says "just don't look down?" I have a new warning for you: When losing alot of weight, don't look at your reflection at any time while exercising. It throws you off and makes you feel terrible about yourself. I know what I'm talking about...still recovering from my experience while on the treadmill last night!

Today I have my youngest son home sick again. Poor thing, he can barely say 2 words without coughing. My Mom is coming over soon and we are continuing the Organizing Festival that has been going on in our home since Friday. We plan to clean out 2 large closets and I can bet that most of my mini-van will be filled with trash bags full of stuff to donate by the end of the day.

I have stuck to my points and have done cardio both days this week. Just going to keep going! I am back to working on the Upsy Daisy poncho and plan to have it finished by Friday. Hope to have pics of it on the blog by then.

Elmo Had It Right

2008-04-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

I was remembering a song today that came from Sesame Street and I used to sing it to my now 9 year old son. Elmo knows his stuff:

It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
Well the road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
Yeah the road is hard
I'm a-gonna get there
Every road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
The pathway to the end is hard and rough and long
But I know where I wanna be
And I'll keep a-struggling on
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there I
t's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm gonna make it too!

So, alot has happened since my last post. Where to begin? I think my husband thought I was nuts when I told him that life feels as if it has somehow shifted. Not just for me, but for our family. We've had a few changes in the last couple months and it almost feels as if something more and better is just around the corner for me and for my loved ones.

To start off with, we recently purchased the eight acres next door to us which answered the almost 8 year old question of whether we would stay here or move. Secondly, my home had a serious makeover this past weekend. Now when I say I wish you could see it, I mean it in a purely symbolic way and am not inviting any cyber stalker to show up at my house to see the new matelasse I've ordered. Sorry, just thought I better throw that in...:)

I am one of those rare people blessed with an awesome set of in-laws who really have taken me in as one of their own. There's not an unkind one in the whole bunch. Anyway, my DMIL and DFIL came this past weekend and when they left, my whole downstairs looked like a completely different home. I can't begin to explain the transformation, but I just want to cry with joy everytime I walk through the rooms. Now I am working on making our bedroom that beautiful.

Becoming a cantor for our church is the 3rd change. I haven't sang for Sunday mass since I was in college and I had forgotten how much my spiritual well-being benefits from it. I absolutely can't wait to get up to the podium on Sunday and sing.

Lastly, I am an official member of Weight Watchers. I had my points off by 2 (I get 2 more than I thought). It was a huge deal to go, get weighed in and get all the materials. My youngest son was home sick, but I got us out there anyway. No excuses! I plan to stay for next week's meeting.

There are some other changes in the works that I am pondering and praying on, but things feel as if there has been a shift and there is no turning back.

Like the song says, it's a long hard road, but I'm gonna get there. I believe that now more than I ever have before.

God Breezes

2008-04-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

If you read the last post, you know I had a rough night. I decided to put on my ipod to listen to and practice the songs I am to lead for church Sunday after next. Do you believe in God Breezes? It's a term the Flylady uses. It's when God sends you little messages in ordinary ways, like a song.

I was just listening to "The King of Love My Shepherd is" and as I sang the first verse, I really listened to the words for the first time...and cried. Here's the verse:

"The King of Love my shepherd is, whose goodness fails me never;
I nothing lack if I am His, and He is mine forever."

Really think about those words. I lack nothing if I am His. His goodness fails me never. I'm going to sing this song in my head the rest of the day and really pray about them.

Mid- Night Cheating!!!

2008-04-04T04:49:00.000-07:00

I completely lost my control last night before bed. Between worrying about the water issue, my huge to-do list, being angry about the scale not moving, and all the time its going to take to find all of the phone numbers I had in my cell phone, I just started eating. I bet at least 400 calories worth. I wanted to cry, but just didn't. I should have...no calories. I told my husband this morning (he had been asleep). He asked me why I did it and honestly I think the answer is that on some level I don't think it matters. I've done lots of cardio, I've done a restricted diet and not one pound has left this body since January.

I'm going to give it one more week- go into Weight Watchers on Monday to join, check that I'm doing the right points and get some advice and do cardio every day next week. If nothing happens with the scale, I think I'm going to get my thyroid check just to make sure there isn't any other underlying reason preventing weight loss. If that checks out fine then I guess I just need to do more, but how?!!!! Too much chaos going on around me!!! Ok, I have to get moving. Second day with no shower, need to finish cleaning the house, do bills, take care of my toddler, and get ready for the well people to be here and baseball practice starts this evening for my oldest (tomorrow for my youngest son). Did I mention that my in-laws arrive this evening? Thank goodness they are very kind and good sports about less than ideal conditions, 'cause this is a doozy! Pray for me! Who's the patron saint of a woman on the edge?

My Life is a Bad Country Song!!

2008-04-03T18:37:00.001-07:00

I'm NOT kidding you when I tell you that the roof is leaking and the well won't work. The pump died and until tomorrow when they clean the well and replace the pump we are without water. And on top of that, I lost EVERYTHING on my cell phone. Apparently the software on the phone crashed and all of my contacts, photos and even the Trace Adkins ring tone I just bought is gone!!! Have to laugh at that though because it literally sang "you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back." He wasn't kidding!!!

I went a little over points today- did the max allowed which is the first time I've done that, but hey, I stopped at Burger King tonight for dinner and what did I get for myself? A diet coke!!! I got everyone else in the family burgers and chicken and I had weight watchers when I got home. I may not have lost a pound yet, but I won a big battle tonight. I also didn't say "forget this, today was hard and I deserve that whopper and cookie dough in the freezer!!" Wait a minute, I forgot about that cookie dough until just now....that sounds pretty good...No, stop the insanity!!! How about a nice cup of coffee instead. Oh yeah, because that's really so much better than the cookie dough...not so much. But I won't cheat :)

I am finishing a poncho for one of the birthday girls (one of the girls who share their birthday with my daughter). This little darling was born a couple hours after mine. I'll make a poncho for the other birthday girl, born an hour before mine, when I finish this one. I know, I know, get back to my own poncho, but I keep thinking that I want to see the scale drop at least one pound before I do that. Come on Mr. Scale!!! Let's get moving ...um...down..not up. Just need to be specific in case he's listening...:)

Somewhere between Zoloft and a Glass of Wine Lies My Sanity

2008-04-02T20:24:00.001-07:00

I had a huge meltdown today, brought on by many things. My youngest son's therapy has been on hold and it is not clear why it hasn't been addressed (first gulp of whine/wine heard here). Second, my phone just DIED somewhere around 3:30 just as I was driving around a local town, LOST like my 6 year old in his sea of toys at cleanup time, and with no way of calling for assistance (gulp).

I had volunteered to pick up a friend's daughter from school, and was already past our pick up time. So, like any normal person, I stopped and asked for help. That "help" led me another 15 minutes down the wrong road and gulp, more whine (not wine yet, I'm driving).

By the time I reached my friend's daughter I was 30 minutes late!!! Now, don't freak, this isn't a child we are talking about-she's about 18, but I was so afraid her mom, who just had surgery yesterday, would think I had forgotten and not being able to reach me, would head out on her own. Just a big mess!!

I made it to Cantor practice and was just awash with joy at singing again. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. I live in a very small town so I knew several members already (including the young lady I gave a ride home to! Told you this was a small town!) So, the night did end well.

My mom is coming over tomorrow to help me do some prep work for this weekend's room switch. I also have a hair appt. tomorrow afternoon and am getting a different cut and style- think Meg Ryan in You have Mail- but maybe not that short.

Lastly, I am considering putting the swimsuit in our county fair (which is a mile from our home and everyone in town thinks of it as our own week long town party). Should I enter it or is it to much for our county fair? I'd appreciate your opinion!

Played Mind Games with Myself, and it Worked!

2008-03-31T15:04:00.000-07:00

I really didn't want to exercise, so I played a game with myself: I could do 20 minutes instead of 60 minutes of moderate cardio on the treadmill, if those 20 minutes were supercharged. It worked. I did a 14 minute mile (2 minutes better than usual) and it felt good to really work hard.

I did really well with my diet today as well. My head is a little woozy so I might not crochet this evening as I had hoped.

Lots of stuff going on at our house- my youngest son starts baseball practice this weekend, and I have my first practice as a cantor at our church on Wednesday. My in-laws are coming on Friday to help us move 2 rooms around. The dining room and living room are going to be switched. There's alot of benefits to this, one great benefit being that I'll have a place to escape to that doesn't have me staring at the refrigerator! I can't wait!!

Just How Many Points is the Baking Chocolate in My Freezer Worth?

2008-03-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

I usually hate Saturdays for 2 reasons. First, my husband is often either working or doing farm work which makes the day feel like an ordinary week day. Secondly, I often want to eat something sweet or indulge and its about this time that if I haven't cheated yet, I will.

But today feels different. I purchased a Weight Watchers calculator (the blue one) some time ago and it has sat in a drawer for quite a while. When I got home the other day, I dug it out of the drawer, entered my information to figure out how many points I can have a day, and have been using it ever since.

I went to the grocery store this morning and used the calculator to decide what snacks and foods to buy for myself. I was astonished with what I could get! To give you an idea of what I am eating, here's a sample: I'm supposed to eat a min. of 26 points and I am sticking to that. I was able to have 2 fat free hot dogs, on lite buns with a little relish, a reduced fat cheese stick, and a 100 calorie hostess snack cake pack for, get this: 6 points! You have to be careful of which snack cakes you get. Some are worth 1 and some are worth 2 depending on the fiber and fat content.

Now, this is NOT going to turn into a blog where all I do is count out points and what I ate because frankly, I wouldn't want to read that! But I think the reason today feels calmer to me is that I don't have the voice in me saying "Eat, Cheat!!!" I know that I can have some sweet things today and still stick to my plan. I still have 16 points left today!

So, I just wanted to throw that out to you, if you are one of the blog readers who is struggling with weightloss and feel like it just isn't going to happen for you. I think I am going to join Weight Watchers in the next 2 weeks, but you know, if you want to do it and can't afford to join, you can buy a Weight Watchers calculator from Ebay for under $15 and use that for now. The one I have keeps count of your points for you, your water intake, exercise, calculates points and tracks your weight loss. That and good walking shoes equal a pretty cheap weight loss plan if you ask me!! P.S. Thanks Paula!

"Take a Deep Breath...and Try Not to Quit..."

2008-03-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

FRUSTRATION!!!!! That's the word of the day. I should premise this by saying this is the wrong time for me to be getting on a scale, as I discovered this morning (girls know exactly what I mean), but I did it any way and man, WHY, OH WHY, did I do that to myself!!! I gained a pound! My first thought was, "forget counting points!" but I stopped myself and decided I would give it more than 48 hours. But what makes me mad is that I did eat alot less when away from home and denied myself alot of goodies and extra food. Just frustrating. I'm not asking for weight loss numbers like on Biggest Loser, I'm just talking about a pound or two!

Anyway, so I am picking myself back up by my bootstraps and I'm going to "get to gettin" as one of my favorite tv show hosts says. What else can I do? Whine, wallow, and lose ground? At least my waist is almost an inch smaller than when last checked, but not enough to move the progress scale below.

I have two choices. Move, or sit still and cry. If one of my boys came to me upset that they wanted something terribly but it was so hard to get, would I say keep trying or give up? We all know the answer to that! I'd say if you want it bad enough "GET TO GETTIN!!!"

A Pretty Good Day

2008-03-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't do cardio today, but I did eat really well. The cupcakes are gone and I didn't eat any of them! I passed on dessert both nights which is great for me. Tomorrow morning we head home and I get back to a routine that I've discovered I'm not happy with. Not enough time for me to do what needs to get done in our home, and not enough time for me to do the things I want to do. I'm going to work on setting a realistic menu plan and a cleaning schedule that delegates more responsibilities to my sons. Even small jobs would help!

My sister in law has got me a little more than interested in weight watchers. I'm going to look into it and really give it some serious thought. If I do it, I would definately do the meetings. If you are using it, please leave a comment about how you like or don't like it. My new scale is waiting for me at home and I am going to weigh myself Friday morning using both the old and new to make sure it's accurate. Have a good night!

My Own Biggest loser Camp

2008-03-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

We arrived at my in-laws house around 7:30 PM, tired and cranky from a long trip with 3 children and 2 dogs. I had a couple glasses of wine, but didn't eat the cupcakes sitting on the counter.

I'm happy to report that I walked this morning for almost an hour and have stuck to a very low fat/low calorie died today- still avoiding the cupcakes! I told my dmil that if I get home,get on the scale, and see weight loss, I'm coming back to live here until July. It's like my own Biggest Loser camp. There lots of people around so boredom is not an issue and it's easier to stick to eating healthy here.

The older children are off with my dmil and dsil for the afternoon and the baby is down stairs asleep so I am going to work on a quick poncho for her.

Crocheters will love this: My in-laws live about a mile from a fantastic yarn store and tomorrow we are going out to lunch where there is yet another yarn store! Woohoo!!! I'm like a kid anticipating Christmas!

Happy Easter!!

2008-03-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone! I just looked at the countdown to the beach trip. 99 Days to go!!! Oh My!! I saw my friend (who's lost alot of weight) at church today. She looked awesome. She is such an inspiration to me. I am going to work HARD these next 99 days so my children can look at me and be proud at what I've accomplished.

I think I am going to start writing a post each day, so that I have to record whether I exercised and whether I cheated on my diet. A little more accountability never hurt anyone.

If you think about it, today is actually more like New Year's day than January 1st. Easter is New Year's Day for Christians, regardless your denomination. Yeah there's Pentecost, the Birthday of the Church, but Easter is when everything starts over in the liturgical year. So, let's treat today a little like New Years in that if you have fallen off the resolution bandwagon, get back on! Start again! We can do this!

I am going to visit my in-laws tomorrow until Wed/Thurs. I am taking my sneakers and workout clothes and will carve out some time, even if it's only 20 min. a day to exercise. And now that Easter is here, there's no excuse for eating desserts this week. Been there, done that.
So, I'll write tomorrow night to report progress. Have a wonderful Easter!

Taking a Day for Myself

2008-03-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I feel a little ragged around the edges. So, I gave myself the day off and spent a little time on my appearance. After the baby fell asleep, I gave myself a manicure and pedicure and took my time curling my hair and putting on makeup. I feel alot better. It's a great thing to do for yourself when you are feeling a little down and my head constantly spinning is really bothering me. But when I go to Holy Thursday Mass tonight, I will feel more put together and prettier and that has to help, right? I'll be able to concentrate more on the Word of God and less on the words in my head saying, "boy, you really need to do something about your ....(fill in the blank)."

Another Day, and 60 Minutes on the Treadmill

2008-03-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Even with 5 children to tend to, (the only difficult one was my 17 month old daughter), I still got on the treadmill and did 60 minutes of brisk walking (3.5-3.6 mph) today. I can go faster but wanted to play it a little safe today. I have that weird feeling you get when you have a head cold and your head is so woozy that you just want to lie down. In fact, I am going to bed. I was working on the Upsy Daisy Poncho and I finished a shrug for my youngest niece. I'm going to wait to sew the seam together so she can try it on and I can make an accurate fit. Looks good!

I added some new things to the blog for anyone who might find them helpful. One gadget estimates how much calories you burn for any given activity and the other is a calorie calculator. Let me know if you like them!

Tomorrow I'll do 60 more minutes on the treadmill, but at just a little faster pace. I also might try to do some weight resistance. We'll see how my head feels!

By the way, word of advice: Caffeine to combat dizzyness/light headedness, doesn't equal a clear head. It equals a very ALERT and DIZZY woman!! My husband said that I'm just now more AWARE of my dizzyness!!

I Believe There Are Angels Among Us

2008-03-18T18:39:00.000-07:00

This was a hard day. One child was home sick and I think the withdrawl symptoms have kicked in. I was very light headed and dizzy. I didn't exercise because I was afraid I might fall off the treadmill. I was feeling bad about that, started to eat BADLY and that never helps anything, but then things started to turn around.

Have you ever heard the song by Alabama, "I believe there are angels among us"? I truly think God uses people to reach down and embrace us with His love and hope. I have this amazing friend, Jeanne, who has had such a difficult year. We are approaching the one year anniversary of her youngest daughter's death. She was 2 1/2 years old. Francesca was a precious angel. I was blessed with getting to help out their family today and my children got to spend time with two of her other daughters. They are spending the night with us tonight. They are such wonderful girls, I know my 3 children love having them here.

And then I got on Crochetville (message board for crochet fanatics like myself) and some dear lady left a message, which was actually this fantastic prayer that had me in tears. I'm printing it out and posting it on my frig. I wanted to share it with you so that you could also be blessed by it. If you are someone struggling with weight loss, copy the prayer into word, change the name to yours and post it on your frig and read it every morning like I will. I don't know the author's name, but I am so blessed by her and I want you to feel as good and hopeful as I do this moment. Bring on that treadmill!!!

"God give Carey faith in herself. Not only on the days when she is doing great and winning and nothing seems impossible, but on days when she wonders if she is brave enough, smart enough, strong enough. Don't let her quit, not ever. Let her keep faith in herself. No matter how many people discourage her, doubt her, laugh at her, warn her, think her a fool, don't let her listen. Let her hear another voice telling her, "You can do it, and you will!" If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in her, let her believe in herself. I know there will be times when she will doubt her own ability, she will be discouraged, on the verge of despair. Don't let her give up, hang on to her!!! Fan the fires of her faith so that she will try even harder. Give her even more faith in herself. You are the source of her abilities and her faith. I know that you will give her what I ask...Faith in herself through your power and glory... In Jesus Name.... Amen."

P.S. Woo Hoo! she has a name! The wonderful author of this prayer is Tammy. If you feel blessed by this prayer, you can thank her!

A Big Change in the Works

2008-03-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Before I tell you what's going on, I need to say a few things. First, PLEASE no emails or comments telling me I'm making a wrong choice, ok? My kindergarden report card didn't read "doesn't take criticism well" for nothing. Second, I am only revealing this information for full disclosure purposes and NOT for anyone to follow suit. And finally, my husband is a doctor and I would never do anything without his guidance and approval.

Ok, having said all of that, you're probably thinking I'm getting some type of surgery, but I am not! As you might know, I have been struggling with getting the scale to move for several months and I have come to the conclusion that something might be hindering my progress. Since 3 months after the birth of my last child, I have been taking Zoloft for what I believed to be post-partum depression. My husband never really agreed with that assessment.

Anyway, I've been taking it for over a year and one thing I can absolutely say is that I am easily 20 + pounds heavier than before the Zoloft and after researching this week, I have discovered that weight gain is a common side effect of the medication. While I won't say that the weight gain is from the Zoloft, I do think my ability to lose the weight is being halted by it. From what I have read, Zoloft can slow your metabolism to a crawl and make even the most ardent dieter's efforts worthless.

So, I have stopped taking the medication. Under my husband's guidance, I have tapered off from the meds and now face a possible 1-2 week bout with withdrawl symptoms. I am going to keep at the exercise, follow a 1500 calorie diet, and make sure that I get plenty of water, omega 3 and a multivitamin. I am also temporarily taking a green tea supplement to help get my metabolism going again. I'll make sure to eat meals often and am researching what I can do to help my metabolism.

Please, if you are on any anti-depressant, DO NOT STOP taking it without your doctor's guidance. Again, I am only writing about this as a part of full disclosure. I would never have stopped taking the Zoloft unless my husband was %100 with me, and he is.
So there you have it. Pray for me that I make it through the withdrawl symptoms without falling back on food. For the first time in a long time, I feel like there just might be some light at the end of this tunnel. The weight is not going to magically come off, but perhaps, just perhaps, I might start to see results from my efforts.

Does Anyone Else Have This Problem?

2008-03-12T09:49:00.001-07:00

I almost put off exercising....to clean....but I didn't. I put in 60 minutes (3.5 miles) and now my legs are jelly. Cleaning and maintaining our house is a huge problem for me. With a 17 month old home with me and two school age boys who need help with homework in the afternoon, I am finding it nearly impossible to get everything done. Our house was in complete chaos this morning and I felt so defeated by it all. It seems to come down to this: I either use nap time to exercise or clean and the good news for my body is that the exercising is winning. Unfortunately for our house, the cleaning is a horrible second.
I love to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 and I am always amazed that their house looks pretty tidy for having 8 children. I have many friends with more children than me, heck, in my neck of the woods, having 3 children is a small family! I'm not kidding! That's another reason I am dedicated to losing this weight. I need more energy to be the mom that I want to be for my children. NOT a supermom. I don't ever want someone to say how great or perfect my life is...because it's not reality and I tend to stay away from moms who act like they never get frustrated. I'm a real person who gets frustrated, angry, and has a ton of self-doubt.
So, how do I get my house in shape? I know about Flylady and I've tried to follow her lead, but I have a ways to go. Does anyone else share this struggle? Off to shower and get the children from school, oh, and there's that dinner thing. I'm supposed to MAKE dinner, right? UG!!!

Tired, But Working Hard

2008-03-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy with my weight loss efforts. Yesterday I had two sessions on the treadmill and one today so far. But I am really tired so I might leave it at that for today. The baby was up a few times last night, so sleeping wasn't very restfull. I might just go to bed early!

Making the Most of My Days

2008-03-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

Two weeks until Easter and I'm really going to work hard each day that I have. I'm not looking to lose some great amount of weight, but I would like to look a little better in the dress I plan to wear. But, hey, it would be nice to see the scale move!

I am also going to focus on the two crochet projects I have in progress. The first is the Upsy Daisy Poncho and the second is a shrug that I am making for my other neice (I made one earlier for her big sister).

There is a hotel in a nearby city that offers a fantastic brunch on Easter and we have reservations, so that is going to be my one free meal to look forward to after these next two weeks. Think good thoughts for me!!

Such a Hard Day!!!

2008-03-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

We might have a decent size house, but I tell you, the walls were closing in today. With all of the snow (at least 16 inches) and a house full of chaos (2 boys 9 and 6 and a 17 month girl, 2 dogs, and a cat), I think I was starting to resemble Jack Nickolson in The Shining!! All we needed was a maze in the back yard!
My eating habits were Horrrrrible today and I felt like a slug, but tomorrow is another day and I will get on that treadmill and make better choices tomorrow. I have a couple of weeks before Easter. It would be nice to see the scale actually MOVE!!!

Had a Good Laugh Today

2008-03-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

I am constantly surfing the net for new crochet patterns and one of my frequent stops is Amazon.com to see what are the latest books being offered. I couldn't help but giggle at Amazon's latest "pairing" of books. They usually pair a book with another one as a package deal. Well there is a great book coming out in August titled Contemplative Crochet: A Hands-on Guide for Interlocking Faith and Craft by Cindy Crandall-Frazier. I can't wait to read it! But here's the funny part: of all the crochet books out there, which one did they think was the best to pair with a book on Crochet and Faith? Sensual Crochet: Luxurious Yarns, Alluring Designs by Amy Swenson!!! Now, I have this book and I LOVE it!!! I plan to make one of her designs in my weight loss quest, but, come on, that is just toooooo funny!!

Back On Track

2008-03-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

I did it! I got on the treadmill this morning and did 60 minutes of intense walking with some spurts of running. Now it's off to shower and go to see my grandfather. It's an hour drive, but very relaxing and I get to see my Mom too, not to mention the Starbucks along the way :)....

2 Good Days and One Bad...

2008-03-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

Monday and Tuesday I stuck to my diet and did 60 minutes of cardio each day, but the power went out around midnight last night and things went down hill from there. We're lucky in that we have a wood-burning stove and a generator, but we only used it once to get the water pump and freezer/frig. working. The power was out for about 14 hours and with three children, YIKES!!!! I ate a good breakfast, but started to cheat soon after I called the power company and was told it would take until late Thursday night for the power to come on. Gee, do you think the two are related?

Obviously, the power did come back on earlier than expected (Yippee, Wahoo!!). If the power stays on, I am going to get on that @$%&!!! treadmill tonight and get right back to work! I would do it now but with the woodburning stove going, its really warm in here (nine year old had his shirt off earlier!)

I started the Upsy Daisy Poncho last night just before the power started to dim. I am going to enjoy working on this project! I'll write more tomorrow to say I did do my workout!!

****Update: Ok, there's no way on God's great earth that I am getting on the treadmill. My DH just put a few logs in the woodburning stove incase the power goes out again (crews are still working). That stove is about 3 feet from the treadmill and after 5 minutes, I'll collapse from heat stroke!! So, I'm going to crochet the evening away...****

Progress day!

2008-03-03T05:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I meant to post this yesterday, but got sidetracked. Anyway, here's the scoop: I've lost another inch off my waist!!! I have also lost a half inch off my chest (under bra), thighs, and hips. But the scale continues to resist moving!!! UG!!! But at least I am seeing progress. I did 45-60 min. of cardio 5 days last week and stuck fairly close to my eating plan. I need to do alot more weeks like that! I'm going to check my progress again the Saturday before Easter.

Ok, now to the Hot Mama Swimsuit...It is so much more beautiful that I had hoped!!! I'm posting several pics of it for you to see. My husband just saw it and told me he thinks I hired out to have it made :)

Also, I am posting a pic of the dress I made my daughter for Christmas.

Check later on today for the reveal of the next project I'll be making!!

Next Project: Upsy Daisy Poncho by Cindy Kamps

2008-03-02T10:29:00.000-08:00

I'm really excited about this next project. I have been a huge fan of Designer Cindy Kamps for sometime and recently noticed her Upsy Daisy Poncho. It's beautiful!!! I contacted Cindy to ask permission to show a picture of the poncho and give info for you to get the pattern as well. She was very gracious and supportive. Something about yarn and the sizes of one's heart, I think. Haven't met a crocheter yet that doesn't have a super generous heart, have you?

I'll be doing the Upsy Daisy Poncho with Paton's Grace yarn in Taupe and Blush (essentially brown and pink), but in reverse of the picture so that the pink is the center of the flowers. I'm going to start it today!! Here's the link to her Ebay store. Once you do one of her patterns, you'll be "hooked". Ha Ha, couldn't resist!

http://stores.ebay.com/Celebrity-Crochet-And-Crafts

It's Crunch Week!

2008-02-25T05:06:00.000-08:00

I went to bed last night thinking, "I've got to be a weight loss warrior." I have to conquer my excuses, self-doubt and laziness to get this weight off and reveal that me that I used to see in the mirror. She's in there, I just know she is....she used to sing country music for her grandparents at honky tonks and had the energy of a woman on 3 pots of coffee.

I saw a friend at church yesterday that I hadn't seen in a while. She's one of an elite club of 3: we all had our only daughter, via c-section, on the same day, same hospital. I know, it's crazy. We didn't know each other until a few months later when we met at church. The other mom I met while pregnant when we noticed our bellies were about the same size and started to talk. She's a teacher at my son's former school. Now I count them among my dearest friends.
Anyway, she looked amazing and I asked her what she was doing to look so good. She's lost 20 some pounds since January and she gets up at 4/5 am five days a week to do an hour of cardio and toning. So, what's my excuse?!! I need to really pull myself up by my bootstraps and get it moving!! Measurements will be taken on Sunday and pics of the swimsuit will be up as soon as the mannequin arrives. I'm going to make each day really count!!!

Another Day, Another 45 Minutes on the Treadmill

2008-02-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Just finished exercising for today- feels good to have a few really good days behind me. The straps of the swimsuit are done but I have left them un-attached in the back so I can get the right measurement when I try it on this summer. Tonight I will attach the coverup and do the bead work. I ordered the 1/2 mannequin form today and will post pics of the swimsuit after it arrives and I can get the swimsuit on the "model."

Please pray for my friend Jeanne and her family. Her husband is in the hospital with chest pains. It looks like things should turn out ok, but she and her family have had more than they can bear: their youngest daughter died not quite a year ago-she was 2 1/2 years old and just the sweetest, most adorable little girl. I don't know how much more this family can take, but they have a great deal of faith and really are an amazing family. I'll write when I learn more.

*** He is home and doing fine. No definitive word on cause yet.

The Sun is Shining!

2008-02-21T05:41:00.000-08:00

I woke up feeling much more hopeful than I have recently. I spent 65 minutes on the treadmill yesterday and resisted the late night eating. The children were VERY wound up last night, which caused alot of stress in our house (until blessed bedtime), when my husband and I could actually have a conversation ( probably no different than every household with children!).

I have some errands to run this morning, but I am going to get on the treadmill when I get back. For the most part, I am trying to follow a routine I wrote out for myself. I have certain things that have to get done, or I'd like to do each day: exercise, cleaning, homework with the children, laundry, meal prep., and then things I like to do like crocheting and reading. I need to set certain time frames for each one like exercise is in the morning and cleaning is during naptime and crocheting is after bedtime. I know, sounds obvious, but to someone like me, it takes mapping it out to make it happen. It's not going to be iron-clad, but rather a map to follow to make life easier.

I am almost done with the Swimsuit! Just need to add the straps and then attach the coverup to the top and add some beading I found. I am going to purchase a half-form mannequin from ebay to "model" the work.

I'm very excited about my next two projects, but those are a secret for now. I'll post them soon. Half the fun is the planning and deciding on the yarn! (those who are addicted to yarn understand my plight:) ). I am aiming for pieces that are varied in color and yet will allow for some overlap so that I can wear them with a variety of things. Can't wait to show you!!

****Update: Did 45 minutes on the treadmill before my errands! Yea Me!!!!****

One Step Foward, Two Steps Back

2008-02-20T04:52:00.000-08:00

I do really well for a few days and then BAM, I fall off, make excuses, and let my self doubt get the best of me. I can tell you that the last few days have been exciting and scary in that our "big" purchase is complete. We closed on a land deal yesterday that adds 8 acres to our homestead. We've gone from 5.8 to 14 with the sign of our names and while I'm really excited, it's also very scary to add another payment to the finances. The stress has led to some bad food choices. I try to walk away, but it gets the better of me.

Anyway, I was feeling really down this morning and decided to give myself some extra time before my next measurement and weighing in to allow for getting back on track. So, my next weigh in will be March 1st. I have the top of the Hot Mama Swimsuit almost done and need to just do the straps and then connect everything, then it will be ready to post.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement. This road only goes one direction and I'm not turning around. I've seen what's behind me and it's not pretty and there isn't alot of joy to be had. I'm concentrating on how good I'll feel about myself when my 38th birthday comes this June.

Survived Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T05:08:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it helped that I'm sick with a cold, but hey, I don't think a cold has ever stopped me from scarfing down a pan of brownies before. The kids came home with 3 packages of leftover cupcakes from their parties (that's 18 cupcakes!), not to mention a boat-load of chocolate, but I didn't eat any of it. I could feel that wave of anxiousness starting again, and knew that if I stayed near the kitchen for long, I'd cheat, so I went upstairs for awhile and the feelings passed.

My DH got me an aerogarden for Christmas and the lettuce is now ready so I ate 2 salads yesterday and will try to have at least 1 salad a day while the garden is producing. I'm not up to exercising yet, but might be by Sunday or Monday. Happy Friday Everyone!!

If This Doesn't Keep Me Honest, Nothing Will!!

2008-02-14T08:30:00.000-08:00

I finished the Hot Mama Bathing Suit Bottom this morning and wanted to get a picture of it up on the blog asap. The color is really pretty. I definately have some serious weight to lose to fit this!! The coverup portion is almost done and then I have to get the top finished.

My voice left me sometime last night while I slept and I am just miserable today, but I am following my eating plan and will add the exercise just as soon as I get my lungs back. This cold has really knocked me for a loop!

Finally back to the Swimsuit!

2008-02-11T20:38:00.000-08:00

A pretty nasty cold has been going through our house and guess who's turn it is now? Yep, it's mine. While I haven't been exercising and eating as I should, I'm also not overeating thanks to being congested. Hey, I need that mouth to breathe, not eat!! :)
The children were home today thanks to the frigid temps, and I was able to start the bottom to the Hot Mama Swimsuit. It dawned on me while working on it tonight that I'm really doing this. Come heck or high water, I'm doing this. That swimsuit is either going to fit, or it's not, but there will be a day when I will have to TRY IT ON!! So, I'll just keep at it. I want that swimsuit to fit me well!!!!

When Will I Learn????

2008-02-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Carey (Everyone say "Hi Carey") and I am addicted to cereal and anything that is packaged as a "100 calorie pack." Come on, like I have ANY self control what so ever! I bought some low fat, 100 calorie packaged sweets and chips to use as snacks and I think what I actually did was make then into 2 meals. When will I learn? I once told my Mom in Law that I can't do Weight Watchers because I would take the 24 points I'm allowed, eat 23 of it in junkfood and try to figure out how to make dinner into one point. Not quite a healthy way to eat! But, hey, on the upside, their gone now! Back to the grindstone, and hopefully it's a lesson learned.

Progress: Slow But Moving Along!!

2008-02-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

The good news is that I have lost an inch from my waist. The bad news is that the scale hasn't moved downward yet. But I really can't whine about it because I haven't been consistent about exercise and diet. Ok, so I haven't really followed it at all. There it is, the big confession. I really don't know how the inch came off given that I think each day started off well and ended with "I'll start over tomorrow after I enjoy this (fill in the blank pastry)."

But am I giving up? HECK NO!!!! I refuse to go back. I'll keep going at it, and eventually it will come off. I'm going to try a few new things this week in my daily routine and see if I have more success.

While I wait for my Mom to show me how to make the Hot Mama Swimsuit Top, I am going to start the bottom. I had hoped to have a pic of it by now, but will try to get one up soon.

The shrug for my niece turned out great! I'll get a pic of that up as soon as I find a willing model (you try getting a nine year old boy to model it for you!!).

My next progress check will be Feb. 24th. And this time, I'll have something to show for it!!!

Swimsuit on Hold For a Few Days

2008-01-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

My neice will be 9 yrs. old in a few weeks and I have been trying to find something to make for her. I wanted to make a shrug, but haven't found a pattern that I like and that would fit her, so I am making one up! This is my first attempt at making a pattern.

I am at a standstill for a few days while my Mom works the next section of the pattern so I get some guidance. I'm a little lost on the directions for the top and the side trim of the coverup. She's coming by on Sunday so I hope to be able to get back to it then. In the meantime, I am working on the shrug and will have it done by Sunday afternoon!

I haven't eaten well this week and while I have exercised, I haven't been 100% because of the back issue I had. But I am working on behaving just for today. And when I wake up tomorrow I will focus on just that day. Eventually, they'll add up to a healthier body!!

Making Progress on Swimsuit

2008-01-24T05:21:00.000-08:00

I stayed up really late last night to work on the swimsuit. The cover up portion is taking way longer than I thought it would, but it's almost done. Then I am moving on to the bottom. My goal is to be able to post pics of the completed swimsuit on Feb.3 with my weightloss progress check. I hurt my back yesterday and spent most of the afternoon and evening with a heating pad on my back. It feels better today, but either way, it won't affect my cardio I plan to do today.

Wave of Anxiousness

2008-01-22T15:50:00.000-08:00

I exercised and was doing well, until the after school, make dinner, do homework, unhappy baby wants picked up, groceries need put away, dishwasher needs unloaded and there is WAY TOO MUCH NOISE IN THIS HOUSE chaos struck. It was like a wave of anxiousness that I just couldn't maneuver through. I overate and wanted to sit and cry. There is just too much to do and not enough hands. I had put dinner in the crockpot and I try to do other things to make the afternoon easier but it's so difficult to get through without cheating.

So I'm going to do my best to stop the madness of overeating right now and after bedtime, I'm going to sit and crochet and get back to my vision of what I want for myself. That's why I love to crochet. Just THINKING about yarn is calming. Fellow crocheters know what I'm talking about.

Tomorrow I'll remind myself to walk away from the kitchen in the afternoon. Very soon we are turning our dining room into a den and that will help greatly. I'll have a place to retreat to with the children that's not a part of the kitchen/great room space.

Going To Be An Interesting Workout!

2008-01-22T06:16:00.000-08:00

My daughter (15 months old) slept in this morning so I am off on my routine. By the time she goes down for a nap, there might not be time to exercise, so I am going to need to do it while she's awake. I have about 45 min. of fast dance music on my ipod list, so she and I are going to dance for Mommy's workout! I'll do abs and some weights when she naps, which I'll have time enough for, but I guess I just have to get creative. I mean, it's not like my body is saying "so sorry, you have to follow a legitimate tape made by a qualified instructor for me to let you burn calories." Does it have to be perfect to be done? The Flylady (see links) has a motto "housecleaning, even done imperfectly, still blesses your home." Isn't that true of our bodies?

Is It Really Friday Already?

2008-01-18T08:55:00.000-08:00

I did both cardio and lower body weights yesterday and with the exception of snacking yesterday afternoon and larger portions for dinner last night, I have stuck to my diet all week. I started the swimsuit over last night and I have to say, I love the new yarn better! I bought 6 skeins of Caron Simply Soft Heather in the Plum color and it's beautiful! Better yet, it cost under $15 dollars! Had to really search to find the yarn though, but it was worth it!

I put in a graph to chart my weight loss in inches from the waist at the bottom of the page. I'll be revealing my progress on Feb.3rd. My goal is a 2 inch loss by then. Just in case anybody is wondering, when I measure my waist, I "suck in my gut" as much as I can so that each time I measure, I am consistent (I read to do that). The sad thing to admit is that my before pictures are of me not just sucking in my gut, but honestly when I did, NOTHING MOVED! Again, part of that honesty thing, and that is really really hard to do, but no harder than carrying around this extra weight and being under the delusion that I don't look as big as I am....but I am taking it one day at a time. I didn't gain this weight over night and it won't come off over night either.

Change of Yarn for Hot Mama Swimsuit

2008-01-17T08:14:00.001-08:00

In the last few days we (DH and I) have decided to pursue a large purchase and I am going to need to be more selective about where I put my yarn money. Currently I am making the Hot Mama Swimsuit using a yarn that's pretty expensive and I still need about 10 balls of yarn to complete the project. If I purchase the 10 balls, it will be about $100!!! Yikes. So, I am going to start over using Caron Simply Soft. Might stay with the red, using their Autumn Spice or might change to a chocolate color. You will definately see the original yarn show up in a different garment before this is through.

Yesterday I went to see my grandfather and I had 2 mini successes: Passed on the large dessert I was offered and then when I stopped at Starbucks on the way home I was tempted to eat a reduced fat pastry but I asked for the nutrition info first. That stopped me dead in my tracks. What I wanted was around 300 calories! That's a small meal for me right now! So I just got a skinny latte. Yea Me!

I didn't get to exercise yesterday so I am combining yesterday and today's workouts- Cardio and Lower Body weights.

Another Great Day!

2008-01-15T20:47:00.001-08:00

Today went really well. I got in a good cardio workout and stayed with my eating plan. I'm trying to make meals healthier, not just for me, but for the whole family. My youngest son (6) is resistant to anything not in a Burger King bag. But I'll keep trying!
Tomorrow I'm heading off to see my grandfather. He's is in his second week at a nursing home and is doing fairly well. His memory is pretty much gone, but his personality is back to where he was a few years ago. My Papa is a great man and my children are so lucky to have him still with us.

A Great Start to the Week

2008-01-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

Today went really well. I exercised, followed my eating plan and managed to get some of my to do list completed. Now if I can just make it to bedtime without eating!

One small step towards a better life

2008-01-12T19:28:00.000-08:00

I know it may not sound like much to anyone else, but to me it's huge. We went out to dinner tonight and my boys ordered their favorite: pancakes. I typically eat my own meal and then eat whatever is left of their pancakes. I'm embarrased to admit that, but if this is going to work, I really have to get to the knitty gritty of what is holding me back.
Well tonight I finished my meal and it wasn't until I handed over the boys' plates to the waitress that I realized I had not eaten from their plate. Wow! That's really big for me!

The week went ok, not great, but ok. I do know that there is no turning back for me. I'll just keep waking up everyday with the motivation to work towards a better body.

I am at a crocheting dilemma. I don't really feel as if I have earned the next batch of yarn that I need, but I am working with a discontinued yarn that I have only been able to find from one seller online. She has enough for me to compete the Hot Mama swimsuit, but I need to persue it before the yarn is gone. I don't think this week was a complete bust, but it wasn't a "clean" week either in the food and exercise dept. So, what I'm thinking is that I'll wait until Wed of next week and if I can say I have followed the program faithfully to that point, I'll go ahead and order it. It won't arrive for another week so I'll have more time to truly "earn" the yarn.
Hope to have some pics of my crocheting progress by end of next week.
I'll weigh in the first week of Feb. and take measurements then too.

New Week, New Hope

2008-01-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

My goal this week and to have great things to report at the end of the week! My focus will be on healthy eating, exercise and not staying up late into the night. If all goes well I'll be able to order the yarn I need on Friday (since I cheated this week, I didn't get to order the yarn). So it's a new week and a new chance to get back on track.

Good News, Bad News...

2008-01-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

I should just get to the bad news: I completely blew off the last two days. I could give a dozen of so-called good excuses and hey, didn't I just write about how not staying on track ruins your progress? There really aren't any great excuses.. I think it was just laziness, plain and simple. I want so badly to lose weight, but I know that to do what is necessary will take a complete overhaul with how I eat and how I live. And the question I have asked myself over the last 2 days is am I ready to do what is necessary? Am I ready to really make those changes? If I wanted to I could just delete this blog and go back to how things have been, but do I want that? The answer is NO NO NO!! I want something more for myself!!
So the good news is that I think the last two days have really helped "seal the deal" for me that I am in this for the long haul. It doesn't matter if I slip up here and there, what matters is that I get up and keep moving, instead of reaching for food to make me feel better.

Beware the Excuse Demon

2008-01-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

I swear there's a little demon named "really, it's ok, do it." I wasn't able to exercise until 10:30 p.m. and that little demon started to urge me to just leave it until tomorrow- do it along with the other workout scheduled...it's ok...you're tired...your dog isn't feeling well...you have a busy day tomorrow...yadayadayada... This is where I usually agree, go to bed and wake up feeling defeated. But not tonight! Ha! I got on that *&^!!!(*&(*& Treadmill and gave it my all!
While there is certainly going to be days that screw up my exercise routine (baby gets sick, I'm sick, etc.), those days really need to be the exception and not the rule. When you give into those excuses you lose not just the chance for losing weight, but you lose momentum and you lose what little, precious, fragile confidence that you are struggling to build.
Speaking of fragile confidence, I took my measurements and all I can say is YIKES!!!! I'm not brave enough yet to post what they are, so I am going to post what they need to be to make my goal: I need to lose 12 inches in my waist, 5 inches in my hips and at least 2 inches in both thighs and arms. That's NOT to be a stick, that's to be a healthy size 12 and for a woman who's 5'9", size 12 is a realistic goal. That's alot to lose, so I am just going to concentrate on one inch at a time. Exercise, eat right, sleep well, think good thoughts and keep crocheting is really all I can do, but if I do it each day, I have faith that I'll reach my goal.

Didn't cheat and started the swimsuit

2008-01-02T20:12:00.001-08:00

Hey, this thing just might work! I didn't cheat, exercised, and made it until 11 pm when my DH started to snack and I started to think "maybe I should still eat something small...to keep my metabolism going...yea....that's a good idea." But I KNEW I would have to write about my progress and come on, cheating on the first day? So, I decided to write a post, and I am going to bed!
Started the swimsuit- I love the color! I'm a few rows in and I think I am going to need more yarn! The balls of yarn I am using have half of the yardage required. Well, if I make it through this week, I can get it!
Tomorrow is Cardio day and the trick will be to fit it in. My grandfather has been admitted to the hospital and will be moved to a nursing facility by the end of the week. I am going to visit him tomorrow and it's an hour drive each way. My youngest son completes his occupational therapy for gross motor skills tomorrow and he has requested Dairy Queen to celebrate. Yikes!! But I will get in the exercise and NOT cheat!