It's Crunch Week!

I went to bed last night thinking, "I've got to be a weight loss warrior." I have to conquer my excuses, self-doubt and laziness to get this weight off and reveal that me that I used to see in the mirror. She's in there, I just know she is....she used to sing country music for her grandparents at honky tonks and had the energy of a woman on 3 pots of coffee.

I saw a friend at church yesterday that I hadn't seen in a while. She's one of an elite club of 3: we all had our only daughter, via c-section, on the same day, same hospital. I know, it's crazy. We didn't know each other until a few months later when we met at church. The other mom I met while pregnant when we noticed our bellies were about the same size and started to talk. She's a teacher at my son's former school. Now I count them among my dearest friends.
Anyway, she looked amazing and I asked her what she was doing to look so good. She's lost 20 some pounds since January and she gets up at 4/5 am five days a week to do an hour of cardio and toning. So, what's my excuse?!! I need to really pull myself up by my bootstraps and get it moving!! Measurements will be taken on Sunday and pics of the swimsuit will be up as soon as the mannequin arrives. I'm going to make each day really count!!!

Another Day, Another 45 Minutes on the Treadmill

Just finished exercising for today- feels good to have a few really good days behind me. The straps of the swimsuit are done but I have left them un-attached in the back so I can get the right measurement when I try it on this summer. Tonight I will attach the coverup and do the bead work. I ordered the 1/2 mannequin form today and will post pics of the swimsuit after it arrives and I can get the swimsuit on the "model."

Please pray for my friend Jeanne and her family. Her husband is in the hospital with chest pains. It looks like things should turn out ok, but she and her family have had more than they can bear: their youngest daughter died not quite a year ago-she was 2 1/2 years old and just the sweetest, most adorable little girl. I don't know how much more this family can take, but they have a great deal of faith and really are an amazing family. I'll write when I learn more.

*** He is home and doing fine. No definitive word on cause yet.

The Sun is Shining!

I woke up feeling much more hopeful than I have recently. I spent 65 minutes on the treadmill yesterday and resisted the late night eating. The children were VERY wound up last night, which caused alot of stress in our house (until blessed bedtime), when my husband and I could actually have a conversation ( probably no different than every household with children!).

I have some errands to run this morning, but I am going to get on the treadmill when I get back. For the most part, I am trying to follow a routine I wrote out for myself. I have certain things that have to get done, or I'd like to do each day: exercise, cleaning, homework with the children, laundry, meal prep., and then things I like to do like crocheting and reading. I need to set certain time frames for each one like exercise is in the morning and cleaning is during naptime and crocheting is after bedtime. I know, sounds obvious, but to someone like me, it takes mapping it out to make it happen. It's not going to be iron-clad, but rather a map to follow to make life easier.

I am almost done with the Swimsuit! Just need to add the straps and then attach the coverup to the top and add some beading I found. I am going to purchase a half-form mannequin from ebay to "model" the work.

I'm very excited about my next two projects, but those are a secret for now. I'll post them soon. Half the fun is the planning and deciding on the yarn! (those who are addicted to yarn understand my plight:) ). I am aiming for pieces that are varied in color and yet will allow for some overlap so that I can wear them with a variety of things. Can't wait to show you!!


****Update: Did 45 minutes on the treadmill before my errands! Yea Me!!!!****

One Step Foward, Two Steps Back

I do really well for a few days and then BAM, I fall off, make excuses, and let my self doubt get the best of me. I can tell you that the last few days have been exciting and scary in that our "big" purchase is complete. We closed on a land deal yesterday that adds 8 acres to our homestead. We've gone from 5.8 to 14 with the sign of our names and while I'm really excited, it's also very scary to add another payment to the finances. The stress has led to some bad food choices. I try to walk away, but it gets the better of me.

Anyway, I was feeling really down this morning and decided to give myself some extra time before my next measurement and weighing in to allow for getting back on track. So, my next weigh in will be March 1st. I have the top of the Hot Mama Swimsuit almost done and need to just do the straps and then connect everything, then it will be ready to post.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement. This road only goes one direction and I'm not turning around. I've seen what's behind me and it's not pretty and there isn't alot of joy to be had. I'm concentrating on how good I'll feel about myself when my 38th birthday comes this June.

Survived Valentine's Day

Ok, so it helped that I'm sick with a cold, but hey, I don't think a cold has ever stopped me from scarfing down a pan of brownies before. The kids came home with 3 packages of leftover cupcakes from their parties (that's 18 cupcakes!), not to mention a boat-load of chocolate, but I didn't eat any of it. I could feel that wave of anxiousness starting again, and knew that if I stayed near the kitchen for long, I'd cheat, so I went upstairs for awhile and the feelings passed.

My DH got me an aerogarden for Christmas and the lettuce is now ready so I ate 2 salads yesterday and will try to have at least 1 salad a day while the garden is producing. I'm not up to exercising yet, but might be by Sunday or Monday. Happy Friday Everyone!!

If This Doesn't Keep Me Honest, Nothing Will!!

I finished the Hot Mama Bathing Suit Bottom this morning and wanted to get a picture of it up on the blog asap. The color is really pretty. I definately have some serious weight to lose to fit this!! The coverup portion is almost done and then I have to get the top finished.

My voice left me sometime last night while I slept and I am just miserable today, but I am following my eating plan and will add the exercise just as soon as I get my lungs back. This cold has really knocked me for a loop!

Finally back to the Swimsuit!

A pretty nasty cold has been going through our house and guess who's turn it is now? Yep, it's mine. While I haven't been exercising and eating as I should, I'm also not overeating thanks to being congested. Hey, I need that mouth to breathe, not eat!! :)
The children were home today thanks to the frigid temps, and I was able to start the bottom to the Hot Mama Swimsuit. It dawned on me while working on it tonight that I'm really doing this. Come heck or high water, I'm doing this. That swimsuit is either going to fit, or it's not, but there will be a day when I will have to TRY IT ON!! So, I'll just keep at it. I want that swimsuit to fit me well!!!!

When Will I Learn????

Hello, my name is Carey (Everyone say "Hi Carey") and I am addicted to cereal and anything that is packaged as a "100 calorie pack." Come on, like I have ANY self control what so ever! I bought some low fat, 100 calorie packaged sweets and chips to use as snacks and I think what I actually did was make then into 2 meals. When will I learn? I once told my Mom in Law that I can't do Weight Watchers because I would take the 24 points I'm allowed, eat 23 of it in junkfood and try to figure out how to make dinner into one point. Not quite a healthy way to eat! But, hey, on the upside, their gone now! Back to the grindstone, and hopefully it's a lesson learned.

Progress: Slow But Moving Along!!

The good news is that I have lost an inch from my waist. The bad news is that the scale hasn't moved downward yet. But I really can't whine about it because I haven't been consistent about exercise and diet. Ok, so I haven't really followed it at all. There it is, the big confession. I really don't know how the inch came off given that I think each day started off well and ended with "I'll start over tomorrow after I enjoy this (fill in the blank pastry)."

But am I giving up? HECK NO!!!! I refuse to go back. I'll keep going at it, and eventually it will come off. I'm going to try a few new things this week in my daily routine and see if I have more success.

While I wait for my Mom to show me how to make the Hot Mama Swimsuit Top, I am going to start the bottom. I had hoped to have a pic of it by now, but will try to get one up soon.

The shrug for my niece turned out great! I'll get a pic of that up as soon as I find a willing model (you try getting a nine year old boy to model it for you!!).

My next progress check will be Feb. 24th. And this time, I'll have something to show for it!!!

Swimsuit on Hold For a Few Days

My neice will be 9 yrs. old in a few weeks and I have been trying to find something to make for her. I wanted to make a shrug, but haven't found a pattern that I like and that would fit her, so I am making one up! This is my first attempt at making a pattern.

I am at a standstill for a few days while my Mom works the next section of the pattern so I get some guidance. I'm a little lost on the directions for the top and the side trim of the coverup. She's coming by on Sunday so I hope to be able to get back to it then. In the meantime, I am working on the shrug and will have it done by Sunday afternoon!

I haven't eaten well this week and while I have exercised, I haven't been 100% because of the back issue I had. But I am working on behaving just for today. And when I wake up tomorrow I will focus on just that day. Eventually, they'll add up to a healthier body!!

Making Progress on Swimsuit

I stayed up really late last night to work on the swimsuit. The cover up portion is taking way longer than I thought it would, but it's almost done. Then I am moving on to the bottom. My goal is to be able to post pics of the completed swimsuit on Feb.3 with my weightloss progress check. I hurt my back yesterday and spent most of the afternoon and evening with a heating pad on my back. It feels better today, but either way, it won't affect my cardio I plan to do today.

Wave of Anxiousness

I exercised and was doing well, until the after school, make dinner, do homework, unhappy baby wants picked up, groceries need put away, dishwasher needs unloaded and there is WAY TOO MUCH NOISE IN THIS HOUSE chaos struck. It was like a wave of anxiousness that I just couldn't maneuver through. I overate and wanted to sit and cry. There is just too much to do and not enough hands. I had put dinner in the crockpot and I try to do other things to make the afternoon easier but it's so difficult to get through without cheating.

So I'm going to do my best to stop the madness of overeating right now and after bedtime, I'm going to sit and crochet and get back to my vision of what I want for myself. That's why I love to crochet. Just THINKING about yarn is calming. Fellow crocheters know what I'm talking about.

Tomorrow I'll remind myself to walk away from the kitchen in the afternoon. Very soon we are turning our dining room into a den and that will help greatly. I'll have a place to retreat to with the children that's not a part of the kitchen/great room space.

Going To Be An Interesting Workout!

My daughter (15 months old) slept in this morning so I am off on my routine. By the time she goes down for a nap, there might not be time to exercise, so I am going to need to do it while she's awake. I have about 45 min. of fast dance music on my ipod list, so she and I are going to dance for Mommy's workout! I'll do abs and some weights when she naps, which I'll have time enough for, but I guess I just have to get creative. I mean, it's not like my body is saying "so sorry, you have to follow a legitimate tape made by a qualified instructor for me to let you burn calories." Does it have to be perfect to be done? The Flylady (see links) has a motto "housecleaning, even done imperfectly, still blesses your home." Isn't that true of our bodies?

Is It Really Friday Already?

I did both cardio and lower body weights yesterday and with the exception of snacking yesterday afternoon and larger portions for dinner last night, I have stuck to my diet all week. I started the swimsuit over last night and I have to say, I love the new yarn better! I bought 6 skeins of Caron Simply Soft Heather in the Plum color and it's beautiful! Better yet, it cost under $15 dollars! Had to really search to find the yarn though, but it was worth it!

I put in a graph to chart my weight loss in inches from the waist at the bottom of the page. I'll be revealing my progress on Feb.3rd. My goal is a 2 inch loss by then. Just in case anybody is wondering, when I measure my waist, I "suck in my gut" as much as I can so that each time I measure, I am consistent (I read to do that). The sad thing to admit is that my before pictures are of me not just sucking in my gut, but honestly when I did, NOTHING MOVED! Again, part of that honesty thing, and that is really really hard to do, but no harder than carrying around this extra weight and being under the delusion that I don't look as big as I am....but I am taking it one day at a time. I didn't gain this weight over night and it won't come off over night either.

Change of Yarn for Hot Mama Swimsuit

In the last few days we (DH and I) have decided to pursue a large purchase and I am going to need to be more selective about where I put my yarn money. Currently I am making the Hot Mama Swimsuit using a yarn that's pretty expensive and I still need about 10 balls of yarn to complete the project. If I purchase the 10 balls, it will be about $100!!! Yikes. So, I am going to start over using Caron Simply Soft. Might stay with the red, using their Autumn Spice or might change to a chocolate color. You will definately see the original yarn show up in a different garment before this is through.

Yesterday I went to see my grandfather and I had 2 mini successes: Passed on the large dessert I was offered and then when I stopped at Starbucks on the way home I was tempted to eat a reduced fat pastry but I asked for the nutrition info first. That stopped me dead in my tracks. What I wanted was around 300 calories! That's a small meal for me right now! So I just got a skinny latte. Yea Me!

I didn't get to exercise yesterday so I am combining yesterday and today's workouts- Cardio and Lower Body weights.

Another Great Day!

Today went really well. I got in a good cardio workout and stayed with my eating plan. I'm trying to make meals healthier, not just for me, but for the whole family. My youngest son (6) is resistant to anything not in a Burger King bag. But I'll keep trying!
Tomorrow I'm heading off to see my grandfather. He's is in his second week at a nursing home and is doing fairly well. His memory is pretty much gone, but his personality is back to where he was a few years ago. My Papa is a great man and my children are so lucky to have him still with us.

A Great Start to the Week

Today went really well. I exercised, followed my eating plan and managed to get some of my to do list completed. Now if I can just make it to bedtime without eating!

One small step towards a better life

I know it may not sound like much to anyone else, but to me it's huge. We went out to dinner tonight and my boys ordered their favorite: pancakes. I typically eat my own meal and then eat whatever is left of their pancakes. I'm embarrased to admit that, but if this is going to work, I really have to get to the knitty gritty of what is holding me back.
Well tonight I finished my meal and it wasn't until I handed over the boys' plates to the waitress that I realized I had not eaten from their plate. Wow! That's really big for me!

The week went ok, not great, but ok. I do know that there is no turning back for me. I'll just keep waking up everyday with the motivation to work towards a better body.

I am at a crocheting dilemma. I don't really feel as if I have earned the next batch of yarn that I need, but I am working with a discontinued yarn that I have only been able to find from one seller online. She has enough for me to compete the Hot Mama swimsuit, but I need to persue it before the yarn is gone. I don't think this week was a complete bust, but it wasn't a "clean" week either in the food and exercise dept. So, what I'm thinking is that I'll wait until Wed of next week and if I can say I have followed the program faithfully to that point, I'll go ahead and order it. It won't arrive for another week so I'll have more time to truly "earn" the yarn.
Hope to have some pics of my crocheting progress by end of next week.
I'll weigh in the first week of Feb. and take measurements then too.

New Week, New Hope

My goal this week and to have great things to report at the end of the week! My focus will be on healthy eating, exercise and not staying up late into the night. If all goes well I'll be able to order the yarn I need on Friday (since I cheated this week, I didn't get to order the yarn). So it's a new week and a new chance to get back on track.

Good News, Bad News...

I should just get to the bad news: I completely blew off the last two days. I could give a dozen of so-called good excuses and hey, didn't I just write about how not staying on track ruins your progress? There really aren't any great excuses.. I think it was just laziness, plain and simple. I want so badly to lose weight, but I know that to do what is necessary will take a complete overhaul with how I eat and how I live. And the question I have asked myself over the last 2 days is am I ready to do what is necessary? Am I ready to really make those changes? If I wanted to I could just delete this blog and go back to how things have been, but do I want that? The answer is NO NO NO!! I want something more for myself!!
So the good news is that I think the last two days have really helped "seal the deal" for me that I am in this for the long haul. It doesn't matter if I slip up here and there, what matters is that I get up and keep moving, instead of reaching for food to make me feel better.