Today is all about crochet. I am finishing the Upsy Daisy Poncho- it connects with a very easy stitch, but I must have failed the connect the dot portion of Kindergarten because I am having such a tough time getting them joined correctly. I think I am going to join them first with ribbon so that they don't slip out of place.
I am also finishing a double petal shawl, also from Cindy Kamps. She has such wonderful pieces to crochet! My Aunt's church is doing a fundraiser/relay for the American Cancer Society this June in honor of their pastor's wife who died of cancer last year. Their symbol is butterflies, particularly purple ones, so I am making a tan colored shawl and will attach lavender butterflies. I think I'm also going to make a few baby/child sized ponchos for them to sell as well.
I was certain of what project I wanted to make next, and now I can't make up my mind. Too many beautiful patterns out there! I do have a few things lined up to make, but want to do something next that is very simple and quick. I'm open to suggestions! I might do a poll with pictures to see what you think the next project should be. Feel free to send me a link to a pattern in the comments and I'll take a look!
On the weight-loss effort front, I'm still staying on track. Our DVD player in the family room had a visit from our daughter yesterday, and now it won't work! So the treadmill and free weights will have to be my routine until we either retrieve whatever treasure she placed within the DVD player, or we purchase a new one.
My DSIL gave us their DVD player recently and we have it in the new den (read: place where children are not to visit), but we really need the one in the family room because it's a DVD/VCR combo and we still use the VCR part often.
I have to tell you about yesterday. We went to visit Papa and he encouraged our daughter to drink from a straw for the first time! She ended up drinking most of his juice! She then came home and successfully climbed onto a kitchen chair (also a first). I found her going through her 6 yr. brother's homework. She's growing so fast!
There was a sock-hop at the nursing home yesterday (after we left) and Mom said that Papa danced with her twice! Papa and my Grandmother once took dancing lessons and he is quite good. I was so happy to hear that he danced!
One blessing from this time in our family's life is that for the first time in a very long time we are all (well, almost all) united as a family in a common goal- to make the most of this time we have with Papa while he still remembers us and to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. My Mom and Aunt visit daily, as well as my Dad and Uncle, and other family members visit as often as they can. There really will come a time when we look back on these days as golden, and Papa, whether he realizes it or not, has given his family back a precious gift we had lost, namely, each other.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Feelin' Groovy....
This has been a busy and yet good week so far. I did as I said I would (ooh, feeling a little Horton hears a Who), but really, I did! Yesterday, I did an hour of cardio and weights and ate pretty darn well. Baseball practice for my oldest got rained out so I didn't get to add in walking, but it was a bonus and not a necessity. This morning I am headed out for a very important concert, namely singing for Papa. I've been practicing for him and and his roomate, Lou.
But I knew I needed to get in my exercise before I left or it wouldn't get done, and hey, I did it (and I might get electrocuted for sweating on my keyboard). There's another practice tonight so I am going to walk then, but it's a bonus. I don't want to rely on those walks because they can get easily cancelled.
I forgot to mention in my last post that I sang again in Church this past Sunday. I think I did well, but you know the second you think you're a rock star, you really realize you're so NOT one. At one point I looked for my family to see their reaction and they were all in the "cry" room, my husband watching our now 19 month old daughter and talking away to someone, and my boys had their backs to me, watching their sister play with another toddler. Gee, I am just sooooo impressive aren't I? Opera star, I am not. I did mess up during one song and actually giggled at myself. No one seem to notice, but I did. We always notice our screw ups, don't we? Oh well, no one cared, especially not me. I'm not there to receive praise, but to give praise to God. Plain and simple.
I need to hit the showers, but I have to say I am LOVING not getting on the scale. I am just focusing on eating less, eating better and moving more with a little less carbs and more water. If it works, I'm writing a book called "Don't Buy Me, You Can Figure This Out For Yourself."
But I knew I needed to get in my exercise before I left or it wouldn't get done, and hey, I did it (and I might get electrocuted for sweating on my keyboard). There's another practice tonight so I am going to walk then, but it's a bonus. I don't want to rely on those walks because they can get easily cancelled.
I forgot to mention in my last post that I sang again in Church this past Sunday. I think I did well, but you know the second you think you're a rock star, you really realize you're so NOT one. At one point I looked for my family to see their reaction and they were all in the "cry" room, my husband watching our now 19 month old daughter and talking away to someone, and my boys had their backs to me, watching their sister play with another toddler. Gee, I am just sooooo impressive aren't I? Opera star, I am not. I did mess up during one song and actually giggled at myself. No one seem to notice, but I did. We always notice our screw ups, don't we? Oh well, no one cared, especially not me. I'm not there to receive praise, but to give praise to God. Plain and simple.
I need to hit the showers, but I have to say I am LOVING not getting on the scale. I am just focusing on eating less, eating better and moving more with a little less carbs and more water. If it works, I'm writing a book called "Don't Buy Me, You Can Figure This Out For Yourself."
Saturday, April 26, 2008
What I Know...
The last fews days haven't been very pretty, let me tell you. I don't have this thing figured out, but I do know the following:
I am NOT meant to weigh myself weekly and then face the results of that number with others watching and THEN go sit in a chair and listen to how others lost several pounds in the last week, while I'm just trying real hard to stare at the floor without crying.
Just the thought of getting in my car on Monday to go to the weigh in makes me sick and I have found myself at least 3 times in the last 24 hours, mess up my eating because this growing voice inside me says " it doesn't matter". I keep fighting that voice, but you know, right now, the voice has evidence to back it up, so it makes it hard to argue with it.
I also know that I just don't have time to waste trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong or that I need to just stick in out for sometime and I'll start to see results. I am so sick of this being the end all and be all of my day. I am willing to work hard, but I need to see the payoff. Would you show up to a job and work hard only to have your boss not pay you, but promise to pay you in the future and then several weeks later, you still haven't been paid? How long would you last?
I just can't face Monday. Everytime I think about it, I cringe. I know that no matter how hard I work, or how well I eat, the chances of seeing a good result are close to nothing. The chances of me crying in the parking lot are a WAY lot better.
So, what do I do? Part of me really just wants to set simple eating goals, with less carbs, and do lots of cardio and see how it goes. No points, just eat less, eat better, and move more. And I really don't want to look at the scale for awhile nor sit in room with people all excited about their success while I try desparately to hold it together. I want to just look at inches lost and how much energy I've gained and the heck with that @*&(^%!!! scale. I've wasted half the week trying to get over Monday only to find myself ruining the last 2 days fearing that all my efforts don't matter anyway.
I tell you, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can tell you that I won't be there on Monday. I'll be on my treadmill or doing my Biggest Loser DVD. I won't be defeated by a number. My success is not going to be determined by a number beneath my feet.
I am NOT meant to weigh myself weekly and then face the results of that number with others watching and THEN go sit in a chair and listen to how others lost several pounds in the last week, while I'm just trying real hard to stare at the floor without crying.
Just the thought of getting in my car on Monday to go to the weigh in makes me sick and I have found myself at least 3 times in the last 24 hours, mess up my eating because this growing voice inside me says " it doesn't matter". I keep fighting that voice, but you know, right now, the voice has evidence to back it up, so it makes it hard to argue with it.
I also know that I just don't have time to waste trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong or that I need to just stick in out for sometime and I'll start to see results. I am so sick of this being the end all and be all of my day. I am willing to work hard, but I need to see the payoff. Would you show up to a job and work hard only to have your boss not pay you, but promise to pay you in the future and then several weeks later, you still haven't been paid? How long would you last?
I just can't face Monday. Everytime I think about it, I cringe. I know that no matter how hard I work, or how well I eat, the chances of seeing a good result are close to nothing. The chances of me crying in the parking lot are a WAY lot better.
So, what do I do? Part of me really just wants to set simple eating goals, with less carbs, and do lots of cardio and see how it goes. No points, just eat less, eat better, and move more. And I really don't want to look at the scale for awhile nor sit in room with people all excited about their success while I try desparately to hold it together. I want to just look at inches lost and how much energy I've gained and the heck with that @*&(^%!!! scale. I've wasted half the week trying to get over Monday only to find myself ruining the last 2 days fearing that all my efforts don't matter anyway.
I tell you, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can tell you that I won't be there on Monday. I'll be on my treadmill or doing my Biggest Loser DVD. I won't be defeated by a number. My success is not going to be determined by a number beneath my feet.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
A Quick Update on Papa
Papa is doing well. We spent the day with him and the family at the hospital and he loved spending time with my daughter (boys were at school). His surgery went well, although his pulse dropped to 30 during the procedure. But the pacemaker is in and his pulse was 70 this evening. I'm going to go back to visit on Friday. If you knew my Papa, you would know he's worth the hour drive, the cost in gas money, the repercussions of a toddler not getting a nap...I'd visit him everyday if I could.
I was SO DARN ANGRY this evening that I hate to report that I blew off my eating plan. Not a good excuse, I know. Did you ever feel so powerless that it ate at you until you had to eat? That was me today. I don't want to say too much regarding family matters, but my grandmother is being a VERY difficult person to love right now. I did something this afternoon, I never thought I'd do: I stood up to her. You know, when you take that vow to love someone in sickness and in health, it doesn't just mean YOUR health. It means your SPOUSE! I know I'm not the only one angry about this in our family, and I don't see them eating themselves into oblivion, so I have to figure out a way to give it to God and not my stomach, because I'm pretty sure my stomach isn't in control, as much as it feels like it is sometimes.
I am going to make a to do list for tomorrow, keeping it short and including exercise, and then get to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I once told a good friend to concentrate on those things you can control and influence. My home, my body, my attitude, these are all things I can control and influence, so that is where I have to give my focus. I need to get back to the basics of what I want and what I need to do for myself and family and stop worrying about things not of my doing or control. It all sounds good, but can I do it?
I was SO DARN ANGRY this evening that I hate to report that I blew off my eating plan. Not a good excuse, I know. Did you ever feel so powerless that it ate at you until you had to eat? That was me today. I don't want to say too much regarding family matters, but my grandmother is being a VERY difficult person to love right now. I did something this afternoon, I never thought I'd do: I stood up to her. You know, when you take that vow to love someone in sickness and in health, it doesn't just mean YOUR health. It means your SPOUSE! I know I'm not the only one angry about this in our family, and I don't see them eating themselves into oblivion, so I have to figure out a way to give it to God and not my stomach, because I'm pretty sure my stomach isn't in control, as much as it feels like it is sometimes.
I am going to make a to do list for tomorrow, keeping it short and including exercise, and then get to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I once told a good friend to concentrate on those things you can control and influence. My home, my body, my attitude, these are all things I can control and influence, so that is where I have to give my focus. I need to get back to the basics of what I want and what I need to do for myself and family and stop worrying about things not of my doing or control. It all sounds good, but can I do it?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
You Saved Me From Cheating Tonight!!
I got up today and was determined to keep going. I ate within my daily points, did not only 20 minutes on the treadmill going 4.0 to 5.0 mph, but also did about 30 minutes of fast walking with the stroller around the ball park this evening. When I got home, I was SOSOSOSOSOSOOSO HUNGRY!!!
I was just about to say what the heck and eat extra food when I sat down to check out the blog. You're kind words really saved the day. Wow! But reading that I'm not the only one struggling really made me say, "give it some time, get your crochet out and see if that hunger isn't really boredom". Ok, so I'm still hungry, but I'm less tempted :)
I wanted to ask all of you to please keep my Papa in your prayers. He is having a pace maker put in tomorrow afternoon and his pulse (as low as 33 today) is a real concern to our family. He's a truly great man- I wish I could tell you his full story, but there might be little eyes reading over your shoulder and Papa would never want them to know...I'll just say that Papa is someone specially chosen by God to give joy to children, for a few weeks out of the year, and has done so for over 30 years, or at least until his illness became to much. I'll let you think on that one and I'll bet you can guess what I am talking about.
Papa was not really treated well as a child. His father died when he was 10 and his Mom remarried a man who was mean to him. His mother was not an affectionate woman to her children and that's about the kindest I've heard it described to me.
He went to live with an aunt and uncle when he was 13 and according to the family, he fibbed about his age to join the Navy when he was 16 or 17. During his tour on an LST in WWII, a Japanese plane took aim on his ship and at the last minute, turned on the ship next to them. It was the SS John Burke. There were no survivors. Check out this web site for the story. If you read the journal provided, you'll see Papa's ship, the LST 751
http://www.ussbush.com/slotow.htm
Papa hadn't finished high school and so when I was a child, he went back for his diploma. I still remember the party we had. I guess he wanted us to see him finish his education. By then, he already had his "special job" and had visited hundreds of children at that time of year when children most need the joy only he could provide. It was very special if you were asked to go along with him as his assistant. I got to go a couple times. Ok, I'm going to stop before I get electrocuted from crying on my keyboard. Pray for him. Will write on his progress tomorrow evening. Thanks again and I promise I won't go grab a cookie now!
I was just about to say what the heck and eat extra food when I sat down to check out the blog. You're kind words really saved the day. Wow! But reading that I'm not the only one struggling really made me say, "give it some time, get your crochet out and see if that hunger isn't really boredom". Ok, so I'm still hungry, but I'm less tempted :)
I wanted to ask all of you to please keep my Papa in your prayers. He is having a pace maker put in tomorrow afternoon and his pulse (as low as 33 today) is a real concern to our family. He's a truly great man- I wish I could tell you his full story, but there might be little eyes reading over your shoulder and Papa would never want them to know...I'll just say that Papa is someone specially chosen by God to give joy to children, for a few weeks out of the year, and has done so for over 30 years, or at least until his illness became to much. I'll let you think on that one and I'll bet you can guess what I am talking about.
Papa was not really treated well as a child. His father died when he was 10 and his Mom remarried a man who was mean to him. His mother was not an affectionate woman to her children and that's about the kindest I've heard it described to me.
He went to live with an aunt and uncle when he was 13 and according to the family, he fibbed about his age to join the Navy when he was 16 or 17. During his tour on an LST in WWII, a Japanese plane took aim on his ship and at the last minute, turned on the ship next to them. It was the SS John Burke. There were no survivors. Check out this web site for the story. If you read the journal provided, you'll see Papa's ship, the LST 751
http://www.ussbush.com/slotow.htm
Papa hadn't finished high school and so when I was a child, he went back for his diploma. I still remember the party we had. I guess he wanted us to see him finish his education. By then, he already had his "special job" and had visited hundreds of children at that time of year when children most need the joy only he could provide. It was very special if you were asked to go along with him as his assistant. I got to go a couple times. Ok, I'm going to stop before I get electrocuted from crying on my keyboard. Pray for him. Will write on his progress tomorrow evening. Thanks again and I promise I won't go grab a cookie now!
Monday, April 21, 2008
I'm Just Wallowing in Self-Pity Over Here...
The good news is that I had my blood drawn today to make sure there isn't anything wrong with my thyroid or metabolism and it all came back as ideal. The bad news, the REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD news is that after a week of working hard and sticking to my points, I not only gained back what I had lost last week, I actually gained back a few ounces on top of that!
So there I am sobbing, and I do mean, pour your heart out sobbing, into to the phone to my wonderful husband in the Weight Watchers parking lot. "Why can't I lose this weight?" Gosh, the moment is still so raw for me that I can't go back to it to tell you about it now. Just overwhelming, no, more like drowning. Yea, that's the word, drowning. I'm drowning in this weight and it doesn't matter how many life preservers get thrown to me, I can't escape. But to add to it, I'm watching others grab their life preserver and go and there I am, trying and nothing happens. I keep looking at the pictures I've posted. I think I look a little better, but to find myself almost at the end of April and still waiting to see consistent weight loss- it's just heart wrenching.
I don't know what to do other than to keep going. I don't know what it's going to take to make this weight go. Maybe I could just cry it all out of me? Do tears weigh 60 pounds?
So there I am sobbing, and I do mean, pour your heart out sobbing, into to the phone to my wonderful husband in the Weight Watchers parking lot. "Why can't I lose this weight?" Gosh, the moment is still so raw for me that I can't go back to it to tell you about it now. Just overwhelming, no, more like drowning. Yea, that's the word, drowning. I'm drowning in this weight and it doesn't matter how many life preservers get thrown to me, I can't escape. But to add to it, I'm watching others grab their life preserver and go and there I am, trying and nothing happens. I keep looking at the pictures I've posted. I think I look a little better, but to find myself almost at the end of April and still waiting to see consistent weight loss- it's just heart wrenching.
I don't know what to do other than to keep going. I don't know what it's going to take to make this weight go. Maybe I could just cry it all out of me? Do tears weigh 60 pounds?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
How Am I Doing So Far?
I noticed today that I am wearing the same clothes from my Before picture taken in January so I thought I should just go ahead and take some pictures of where I am now, to see if I notice any difference. My husband did. What do you think?
PS: I am sucking in my stomach in BOTH pictures! Like I said in my first entry to this blog, when I took the before shots and sucked my stomach in, NOTHING moved!
Pictures on the left are the Before and the ones on the right are Today:
A Better Saturday Than Usual
I did a 46 minute fast walk with my daughter in the stroller around our town's ballpark this afternoon, so it feels good to have gotten that done. I've exercised 5 out of the last 6 days, and one of those days I threw in a second cardio workout so I feel really good about my efforts.
Last night I worked on the Upsy Daisy Poncho and have only one night's worth of work left to do on it. It's going to be so darn pretty!
We are having awesome weather today so we are going to grill dinner, which should help me keep my diet in check. I am getting nervous about Monday's weigh in. I don't want to expect any big number, but I hope to see the scale continue to move downward.
Two people stopped me yesterday to say nice things about my cantoring last week. Boy, does that make my day! My 18 month old daughter is beating up on her 6 year old brother so I need to break that up before he gets hurt! :)
Last night I worked on the Upsy Daisy Poncho and have only one night's worth of work left to do on it. It's going to be so darn pretty!
We are having awesome weather today so we are going to grill dinner, which should help me keep my diet in check. I am getting nervous about Monday's weigh in. I don't want to expect any big number, but I hope to see the scale continue to move downward.
Two people stopped me yesterday to say nice things about my cantoring last week. Boy, does that make my day! My 18 month old daughter is beating up on her 6 year old brother so I need to break that up before he gets hurt! :)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Is That A Sniffle I Hear?
Oh No!!! No more colds! I woke up congested this morning, but I am NOT letting it stop me! It's not bad enough to warrant medicine, so lets hope that's as bad as it gets.
Last night was crazy! Luckily, I got on the treadmill in the morning. After school I took my brood shopping for new baseball helmets, bats, and shoes. Not cheap, let me tell you! Anyway, we got home with 1 1/2 hrs left to eat dinner and do homework before my youngest son's practice scheduled for 6 pm. I discovered a message waiting for me that the coach of my oldest son had decided to call an impromptu practice at 7 pm! Suddenly, I was racing around trying to get everybody fed, homework done, equipment and water bottle ready to go. I hope these last minute practices are a rarity this season.
So I took our youngest son to his practice with our 18 month old and my husband took our oldest to his- 2 different parks, a couple of miles from each other. I was able to get in another 20 min. of walking, pushing the stroller over gravel and a good incline. But our daughter was ready to go home at 6:30 and was pretty much a crying mess for the next hour.
Our children go to bed at 8 pm, so practices that end at 7:30 and 8 are really hard on them. My oldest has a practice on Tuesdays from 8-9 pm!! He's only 9 for crying out loud! I spoke to the coach's wife about it and said that until school was out we would have to miss that one and she and her husband are very understanding about it.
Today will be busy but it's such a beautiful day! I'm going to get on the treadmill this morning and try another resistance tape as well. My oldest has practice again tonight (I know, crazy) at 6 pm. I'm going to walk with the stroller again, but I count it as a bonus and not as my cardio for the day.
I worked on the poncho again last night. I am close to done, folks! Woohoo, it's about time!
I can't wait to show you what my next 2 projects are going to be. They are quite cool and those from crochetville will definately recognize one of them!
I have the yarn already for one of them, but the other I plan to use some very exquisite yarn, but I can do it. I have been faithful to my diet, and am seeing progress! Next weigh-in is on Monday.
I'll post a pic of the poncho and the next project in the next few days. Maybe with Monday's weigh-in results.
Last night was crazy! Luckily, I got on the treadmill in the morning. After school I took my brood shopping for new baseball helmets, bats, and shoes. Not cheap, let me tell you! Anyway, we got home with 1 1/2 hrs left to eat dinner and do homework before my youngest son's practice scheduled for 6 pm. I discovered a message waiting for me that the coach of my oldest son had decided to call an impromptu practice at 7 pm! Suddenly, I was racing around trying to get everybody fed, homework done, equipment and water bottle ready to go. I hope these last minute practices are a rarity this season.
So I took our youngest son to his practice with our 18 month old and my husband took our oldest to his- 2 different parks, a couple of miles from each other. I was able to get in another 20 min. of walking, pushing the stroller over gravel and a good incline. But our daughter was ready to go home at 6:30 and was pretty much a crying mess for the next hour.
Our children go to bed at 8 pm, so practices that end at 7:30 and 8 are really hard on them. My oldest has a practice on Tuesdays from 8-9 pm!! He's only 9 for crying out loud! I spoke to the coach's wife about it and said that until school was out we would have to miss that one and she and her husband are very understanding about it.
Today will be busy but it's such a beautiful day! I'm going to get on the treadmill this morning and try another resistance tape as well. My oldest has practice again tonight (I know, crazy) at 6 pm. I'm going to walk with the stroller again, but I count it as a bonus and not as my cardio for the day.
I worked on the poncho again last night. I am close to done, folks! Woohoo, it's about time!
I can't wait to show you what my next 2 projects are going to be. They are quite cool and those from crochetville will definately recognize one of them!
I have the yarn already for one of them, but the other I plan to use some very exquisite yarn, but I can do it. I have been faithful to my diet, and am seeing progress! Next weigh-in is on Monday.
I'll post a pic of the poncho and the next project in the next few days. Maybe with Monday's weigh-in results.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Singing For Papa
I had a very powerful visit with my grandfather. Papa, a WWII vet, used to take me to honkey tonks where he'd convince the band that I was good enough to sit in (whether I was or not). There was a certain set of songs that I used to sing and it's been years since I sang for him. My mom thinks he's in that last stage before he stops knowing who we are, so his memory is really gone. But, he knows who I am and he knows who my children are and boy, does he light up when he sees my daughter!
So, my mom asked me to sing for Papa and before I knew it, we were singing all of the old songs and a few times, I forgot the words and Papa remembered them! It was as if we were able to reach a piece of the old Tom, if only for a few minutes.
My mom was crying, I was crying, we think Papa was crying, heck, his room mate was crying! I promised Papa I would practice some more songs and come back next week to sing them for him.
It's becoming so much more real now. We are slowly losing him and at some point we are going to look back on these past months as our last golden moments with him and I intend to make the most of every moment with him that I can.
One thing, and I hate to say this out loud, but I'm really troubled that I didn't ever do the one thing he wanted. He always wanted me to "make it big". At one point, he was actually encouraging me to quit college to make a go of it. I never did, but I would LOVE to give him that- me singing with the big stars. Just one song. I might sound terrible, but to him, it would be great. That's the neat thing about Papas. They always see you way better than you actually are. I know, not going to happen, but just to see his face, with me up there on stage, dedicating a song to him, and he, still knowing who I am, and knowing that I did it would be awesome. A girl can dream, can't she? Anyone out there know Trace, Gretchen, or Brad? I'm just saying....:)
So, my mom asked me to sing for Papa and before I knew it, we were singing all of the old songs and a few times, I forgot the words and Papa remembered them! It was as if we were able to reach a piece of the old Tom, if only for a few minutes.
My mom was crying, I was crying, we think Papa was crying, heck, his room mate was crying! I promised Papa I would practice some more songs and come back next week to sing them for him.
It's becoming so much more real now. We are slowly losing him and at some point we are going to look back on these past months as our last golden moments with him and I intend to make the most of every moment with him that I can.
One thing, and I hate to say this out loud, but I'm really troubled that I didn't ever do the one thing he wanted. He always wanted me to "make it big". At one point, he was actually encouraging me to quit college to make a go of it. I never did, but I would LOVE to give him that- me singing with the big stars. Just one song. I might sound terrible, but to him, it would be great. That's the neat thing about Papas. They always see you way better than you actually are. I know, not going to happen, but just to see his face, with me up there on stage, dedicating a song to him, and he, still knowing who I am, and knowing that I did it would be awesome. A girl can dream, can't she? Anyone out there know Trace, Gretchen, or Brad? I'm just saying....:)
Monday, April 14, 2008
Hey Look, I'm a Widget or Blidget, or is that Gidget?
I was looking at different widgets to add to my blog and found where you could make your own. Well Burt, whata ya know about that? That's pretty nifty! So, there I am, a blidget as it's called (like I have ANY clue what so ever about this stuff!). Feel free to add me, at the very least I'm something to laugh at....I mean with, laugh with...:)
EVERYBODY DAAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody, please take this solemn moment to calm your self, find your happy place, and then....
Lean over and kiss your computer screen, the scale has moved downward!!!!!! Three Pounds!!!!
You can't see me right now, but I'm doin' a little dance with my keyboard, a littl' keyboard cha cha. Ok, you can't see me, but my 18 month old daughter can and she's giving me a look that says
" Oh, Mother, Pa-leeese don't embarrass me in cyberspace....just pull the computer over and let me out now before my friends see me"...but I digress.
Where was I?
Oh yeah.....
EVERYBODY DAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!
Ok, I'll calm down, but come on, I've been waiting on this for months!! I am going to just keep at it and work hard. I'm going to work on the Upsy Daisy Poncho during naptime and do the treadmill this evening. Can't tell you how excited I am. Yea Me!!! By the way, I'm down another inch on my waist (see the tracker below). I might just fit into this stuff that I'm making (not now, but you know what I mean).
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I So Rocked the Church!!!
Ok, let me clarify:
I So didn't shame my family!!! Woo! Yea!
Ok, I think that needs more clarification...by "rocking the church" I mean the following:- My sons didn't hide under the pews (actually my 9 year old was shaking his arm in the air at one point)
- I didn't drop the music book (though I did put the microphone back incorrectly before Mass, and it dropped onto the podium as the lady before me made announcements..oops..my bad..)
- I didn't cough into the microphone loudly between verses, causing me to miss the first few words of the next verse (had nightmares about that one)
- Those who were taping Mass because their child was receiving First Communion didn't turn off their cam corders whenever I opened my mouth.
- Lady sitting in first row with hearing aid didn't turn it off (I saw the cord coming from her ear and watched her through out the mass!)
- Didn't see fellow parishoners make snarky looks at each other as I sang.
Ok, so essentially, as long as I showed up wearing appropriate clothing and wasn't booed from the podium, I can fairly say:
"I So Rocked the Church!"
I really enjoyed myself and have to say I loved seeing my boys so proud of their Mama. Both have talked about it all day. My parents came to hear me as well, which was really nice, except I get nervous around my Mom. Don't get me wrong, she's my biggest cheerleader, but her enthusiasm freaks me out sometimes and today was definately one of those times.
We went to Cracker Barrel, otherwise known as the cemetery where your entire daily intake of Weight Watcher points go to die a delicious, but very regretful death. I did pretty well. Under 10 points according to the tracker computer they have online. I had to get up and move though when my youngest son left almost a whole plateful of blueberry pancakes next to me...and that bowl of whipped cream just sitting there...calling me...Evil I know your name and it is called "my children's cast offs"!!! Why do we eat what our children won't? Have you ever seen plates left by other people at restaraunts? You'd sooner give birth without medication then eat from that plate, so why do we do it when it's from our children's plates? Are we trash cans? I say NO!!! I am not a human trash can!!
Wish me luck for tomorrow's weigh-in!!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Let the Good Times Roll....
Happy Friday everyone! Sorry I didn't get around to posting again last night as I had promised. We had a homework frenzy occuring and boy, it was crazy in our house!
I'm having a pretty good day, as you can probably guess. I was pondering this past week and have a few observations. First, I think I have told pretty much anyone within the tri-county area that I have joined Weight Watchers, which somehow makes me feel more serious about my weight loss efforts.
Second, the closet eating has stopped. It doesn't matter when I eat, only how many points and staying within my allotted points. So I can eat at 11 pm if I want to, I just have to save a few points during the day for it. There's alot less guilt involved! Now, if I could just stop my closet shopping....Does your closet floor look like mine, essentially a dart board from all of my Target bags? If it's not one thing, it's another!!
Lastly, I have some really good friends and family members who have been very encouraging not just of my weight loss efforts, but in following my heart. It feels good to be thinking about how I see things for myself and family, along with husband. Sometimes I think I spend too much time on the sidelines being a cheerleader, and not a coach. It's nice to be a coach (except for getting Gatorade thrown on your head). If my 9 year old reads that, I'm doomed.
Wish me luck on Sunday that I don't completely mess up Cantoring!
***Update: Just discovered that the daughter of a good friend is receiving First Communion during the mass I am cantoring...feel no pressure...oh man, just realized: since it's a 1st communion, someone's bound to film it! Yikes, Evidence of the crime !!***
I'm having a pretty good day, as you can probably guess. I was pondering this past week and have a few observations. First, I think I have told pretty much anyone within the tri-county area that I have joined Weight Watchers, which somehow makes me feel more serious about my weight loss efforts.
Second, the closet eating has stopped. It doesn't matter when I eat, only how many points and staying within my allotted points. So I can eat at 11 pm if I want to, I just have to save a few points during the day for it. There's alot less guilt involved! Now, if I could just stop my closet shopping....Does your closet floor look like mine, essentially a dart board from all of my Target bags? If it's not one thing, it's another!!
Lastly, I have some really good friends and family members who have been very encouraging not just of my weight loss efforts, but in following my heart. It feels good to be thinking about how I see things for myself and family, along with husband. Sometimes I think I spend too much time on the sidelines being a cheerleader, and not a coach. It's nice to be a coach (except for getting Gatorade thrown on your head). If my 9 year old reads that, I'm doomed.
Wish me luck on Sunday that I don't completely mess up Cantoring!
***Update: Just discovered that the daughter of a good friend is receiving First Communion during the mass I am cantoring...feel no pressure...oh man, just realized: since it's a 1st communion, someone's bound to film it! Yikes, Evidence of the crime !!***
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Still Plowing Along
Yep, I think that best describes the state of things in our house and in my life. My husband and I cleaned out and reorganized a huge closet in our "new" den and I can't believe the difference. I was ironing clothes this morning and I heard my 9 year old son give his 6 year old brother a tour of Daddy and Mommy's handywork. Very Cute. He has a future on the Price is Right.
I walked for 45 minutes last night, going as fast as I can. That's 3 days in a row for those who are counting. Today is slip cover day at our house. The ones I ordered look terrible so I am off to find better ones today for our older family room furniture. I'm thinking maybe denim. I'm just waiting to call my DMIL for advice. She's the family style guru. Kind of a Candice Olsen meets Neicy Nash, but without all the head movement. All of our homes look like versions of her home, which is fine by me. I don't have that kind of talent to put a room together- I need someone to tell me what works and what doesn't. Otherwise, we'd all be sitting in lawnchairs while I tried to figure out how to safely use our firepit in the family room. Ok, so I'm not that bad, but still, you won't be hiring me as a consultant any time soon!
I'll write more later this evening after my workout.
I walked for 45 minutes last night, going as fast as I can. That's 3 days in a row for those who are counting. Today is slip cover day at our house. The ones I ordered look terrible so I am off to find better ones today for our older family room furniture. I'm thinking maybe denim. I'm just waiting to call my DMIL for advice. She's the family style guru. Kind of a Candice Olsen meets Neicy Nash, but without all the head movement. All of our homes look like versions of her home, which is fine by me. I don't have that kind of talent to put a room together- I need someone to tell me what works and what doesn't. Otherwise, we'd all be sitting in lawnchairs while I tried to figure out how to safely use our firepit in the family room. Ok, so I'm not that bad, but still, you won't be hiring me as a consultant any time soon!
I'll write more later this evening after my workout.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
"Never Look Back Darling. It Distracts From the Now"
I'm paraphrasing Edna from the Incredibles. Wise woman, that Edna. You know how when you're afraid of heights and someone says "just don't look down?" I have a new warning for you: When losing alot of weight, don't look at your reflection at any time while exercising. It throws you off and makes you feel terrible about yourself. I know what I'm talking about...still recovering from my experience while on the treadmill last night!
Today I have my youngest son home sick again. Poor thing, he can barely say 2 words without coughing. My Mom is coming over soon and we are continuing the Organizing Festival that has been going on in our home since Friday. We plan to clean out 2 large closets and I can bet that most of my mini-van will be filled with trash bags full of stuff to donate by the end of the day.
I have stuck to my points and have done cardio both days this week. Just going to keep going! I am back to working on the Upsy Daisy poncho and plan to have it finished by Friday. Hope to have pics of it on the blog by then.
Today I have my youngest son home sick again. Poor thing, he can barely say 2 words without coughing. My Mom is coming over soon and we are continuing the Organizing Festival that has been going on in our home since Friday. We plan to clean out 2 large closets and I can bet that most of my mini-van will be filled with trash bags full of stuff to donate by the end of the day.
I have stuck to my points and have done cardio both days this week. Just going to keep going! I am back to working on the Upsy Daisy poncho and plan to have it finished by Friday. Hope to have pics of it on the blog by then.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Elmo Had It Right
I was remembering a song today that came from Sesame Street and I used to sing it to my now 9 year old son. Elmo knows his stuff:
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
Well the road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
Yeah the road is hard
I'm a-gonna get there
Every road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
The pathway to the end is hard and rough and long
But I know where I wanna be
And I'll keep a-struggling on
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there I
t's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm gonna make it too!
So, alot has happened since my last post. Where to begin? I think my husband thought I was nuts when I told him that life feels as if it has somehow shifted. Not just for me, but for our family. We've had a few changes in the last couple months and it almost feels as if something more and better is just around the corner for me and for my loved ones.
To start off with, we recently purchased the eight acres next door to us which answered the almost 8 year old question of whether we would stay here or move. Secondly, my home had a serious makeover this past weekend. Now when I say I wish you could see it, I mean it in a purely symbolic way and am not inviting any cyber stalker to show up at my house to see the new matelasse I've ordered. Sorry, just thought I better throw that in...:)
I am one of those rare people blessed with an awesome set of in-laws who really have taken me in as one of their own. There's not an unkind one in the whole bunch. Anyway, my DMIL and DFIL came this past weekend and when they left, my whole downstairs looked like a completely different home. I can't begin to explain the transformation, but I just want to cry with joy everytime I walk through the rooms. Now I am working on making our bedroom that beautiful.
Becoming a cantor for our church is the 3rd change. I haven't sang for Sunday mass since I was in college and I had forgotten how much my spiritual well-being benefits from it. I absolutely can't wait to get up to the podium on Sunday and sing.
Lastly, I am an official member of Weight Watchers. I had my points off by 2 (I get 2 more than I thought). It was a huge deal to go, get weighed in and get all the materials. My youngest son was home sick, but I got us out there anyway. No excuses! I plan to stay for next week's meeting.
There are some other changes in the works that I am pondering and praying on, but things feel as if there has been a shift and there is no turning back.
Like the song says, it's a long hard road, but I'm gonna get there. I believe that now more than I ever have before.
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
Well the road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
Yeah the road is hard
I'm a-gonna get there
Every road is hard
But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
The pathway to the end is hard and rough and long
But I know where I wanna be
And I'll keep a-struggling on
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
It's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there I
t's a long hard road But I'm gonna get there
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm heading to the morning sun
I'm gonna make it too!
So, alot has happened since my last post. Where to begin? I think my husband thought I was nuts when I told him that life feels as if it has somehow shifted. Not just for me, but for our family. We've had a few changes in the last couple months and it almost feels as if something more and better is just around the corner for me and for my loved ones.
To start off with, we recently purchased the eight acres next door to us which answered the almost 8 year old question of whether we would stay here or move. Secondly, my home had a serious makeover this past weekend. Now when I say I wish you could see it, I mean it in a purely symbolic way and am not inviting any cyber stalker to show up at my house to see the new matelasse I've ordered. Sorry, just thought I better throw that in...:)
I am one of those rare people blessed with an awesome set of in-laws who really have taken me in as one of their own. There's not an unkind one in the whole bunch. Anyway, my DMIL and DFIL came this past weekend and when they left, my whole downstairs looked like a completely different home. I can't begin to explain the transformation, but I just want to cry with joy everytime I walk through the rooms. Now I am working on making our bedroom that beautiful.
Becoming a cantor for our church is the 3rd change. I haven't sang for Sunday mass since I was in college and I had forgotten how much my spiritual well-being benefits from it. I absolutely can't wait to get up to the podium on Sunday and sing.
Lastly, I am an official member of Weight Watchers. I had my points off by 2 (I get 2 more than I thought). It was a huge deal to go, get weighed in and get all the materials. My youngest son was home sick, but I got us out there anyway. No excuses! I plan to stay for next week's meeting.
There are some other changes in the works that I am pondering and praying on, but things feel as if there has been a shift and there is no turning back.
Like the song says, it's a long hard road, but I'm gonna get there. I believe that now more than I ever have before.
Friday, April 4, 2008
God Breezes
If you read the last post, you know I had a rough night. I decided to put on my ipod to listen to and practice the songs I am to lead for church Sunday after next. Do you believe in God Breezes? It's a term the Flylady uses. It's when God sends you little messages in ordinary ways, like a song.
I was just listening to "The King of Love My Shepherd is" and as I sang the first verse, I really listened to the words for the first time...and cried. Here's the verse:
"The King of Love my shepherd is, whose goodness fails me never;
I nothing lack if I am His, and He is mine forever."
Really think about those words. I lack nothing if I am His. His goodness fails me never. I'm going to sing this song in my head the rest of the day and really pray about them.
I was just listening to "The King of Love My Shepherd is" and as I sang the first verse, I really listened to the words for the first time...and cried. Here's the verse:
"The King of Love my shepherd is, whose goodness fails me never;
I nothing lack if I am His, and He is mine forever."
Really think about those words. I lack nothing if I am His. His goodness fails me never. I'm going to sing this song in my head the rest of the day and really pray about them.
Mid- Night Cheating!!!
I completely lost my control last night before bed. Between worrying about the water issue, my huge to-do list, being angry about the scale not moving, and all the time its going to take to find all of the phone numbers I had in my cell phone, I just started eating. I bet at least 400 calories worth. I wanted to cry, but just didn't. I should have...no calories. I told my husband this morning (he had been asleep). He asked me why I did it and honestly I think the answer is that on some level I don't think it matters. I've done lots of cardio, I've done a restricted diet and not one pound has left this body since January.
I'm going to give it one more week- go into Weight Watchers on Monday to join, check that I'm doing the right points and get some advice and do cardio every day next week. If nothing happens with the scale, I think I'm going to get my thyroid check just to make sure there isn't any other underlying reason preventing weight loss. If that checks out fine then I guess I just need to do more, but how?!!!! Too much chaos going on around me!!! Ok, I have to get moving. Second day with no shower, need to finish cleaning the house, do bills, take care of my toddler, and get ready for the well people to be here and baseball practice starts this evening for my oldest (tomorrow for my youngest son). Did I mention that my in-laws arrive this evening? Thank goodness they are very kind and good sports about less than ideal conditions, 'cause this is a doozy! Pray for me! Who's the patron saint of a woman on the edge?
I'm going to give it one more week- go into Weight Watchers on Monday to join, check that I'm doing the right points and get some advice and do cardio every day next week. If nothing happens with the scale, I think I'm going to get my thyroid check just to make sure there isn't any other underlying reason preventing weight loss. If that checks out fine then I guess I just need to do more, but how?!!!! Too much chaos going on around me!!! Ok, I have to get moving. Second day with no shower, need to finish cleaning the house, do bills, take care of my toddler, and get ready for the well people to be here and baseball practice starts this evening for my oldest (tomorrow for my youngest son). Did I mention that my in-laws arrive this evening? Thank goodness they are very kind and good sports about less than ideal conditions, 'cause this is a doozy! Pray for me! Who's the patron saint of a woman on the edge?
Thursday, April 3, 2008
My Life is a Bad Country Song!!
I'm NOT kidding you when I tell you that the roof is leaking and the well won't work. The pump died and until tomorrow when they clean the well and replace the pump we are without water. And on top of that, I lost EVERYTHING on my cell phone. Apparently the software on the phone crashed and all of my contacts, photos and even the Trace Adkins ring tone I just bought is gone!!! Have to laugh at that though because it literally sang "you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back." He wasn't kidding!!!
I went a little over points today- did the max allowed which is the first time I've done that, but hey, I stopped at Burger King tonight for dinner and what did I get for myself? A diet coke!!! I got everyone else in the family burgers and chicken and I had weight watchers when I got home. I may not have lost a pound yet, but I won a big battle tonight. I also didn't say "forget this, today was hard and I deserve that whopper and cookie dough in the freezer!!" Wait a minute, I forgot about that cookie dough until just now....that sounds pretty good...No, stop the insanity!!! How about a nice cup of coffee instead. Oh yeah, because that's really so much better than the cookie dough...not so much. But I won't cheat :)
I am finishing a poncho for one of the birthday girls (one of the girls who share their birthday with my daughter). This little darling was born a couple hours after mine. I'll make a poncho for the other birthday girl, born an hour before mine, when I finish this one. I know, I know, get back to my own poncho, but I keep thinking that I want to see the scale drop at least one pound before I do that. Come on Mr. Scale!!! Let's get moving ...um...down..not up. Just need to be specific in case he's listening...:)
I went a little over points today- did the max allowed which is the first time I've done that, but hey, I stopped at Burger King tonight for dinner and what did I get for myself? A diet coke!!! I got everyone else in the family burgers and chicken and I had weight watchers when I got home. I may not have lost a pound yet, but I won a big battle tonight. I also didn't say "forget this, today was hard and I deserve that whopper and cookie dough in the freezer!!" Wait a minute, I forgot about that cookie dough until just now....that sounds pretty good...No, stop the insanity!!! How about a nice cup of coffee instead. Oh yeah, because that's really so much better than the cookie dough...not so much. But I won't cheat :)
I am finishing a poncho for one of the birthday girls (one of the girls who share their birthday with my daughter). This little darling was born a couple hours after mine. I'll make a poncho for the other birthday girl, born an hour before mine, when I finish this one. I know, I know, get back to my own poncho, but I keep thinking that I want to see the scale drop at least one pound before I do that. Come on Mr. Scale!!! Let's get moving ...um...down..not up. Just need to be specific in case he's listening...:)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Somewhere between Zoloft and a Glass of Wine Lies My Sanity
I had a huge meltdown today, brought on by many things. My youngest son's therapy has been on hold and it is not clear why it hasn't been addressed (first gulp of whine/wine heard here). Second, my phone just DIED somewhere around 3:30 just as I was driving around a local town, LOST like my 6 year old in his sea of toys at cleanup time, and with no way of calling for assistance (gulp).
I had volunteered to pick up a friend's daughter from school, and was already past our pick up time. So, like any normal person, I stopped and asked for help. That "help" led me another 15 minutes down the wrong road and gulp, more whine (not wine yet, I'm driving).
By the time I reached my friend's daughter I was 30 minutes late!!! Now, don't freak, this isn't a child we are talking about-she's about 18, but I was so afraid her mom, who just had surgery yesterday, would think I had forgotten and not being able to reach me, would head out on her own. Just a big mess!!
I made it to Cantor practice and was just awash with joy at singing again. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. I live in a very small town so I knew several members already (including the young lady I gave a ride home to! Told you this was a small town!) So, the night did end well.
My mom is coming over tomorrow to help me do some prep work for this weekend's room switch. I also have a hair appt. tomorrow afternoon and am getting a different cut and style- think Meg Ryan in You have Mail- but maybe not that short.
Lastly, I am considering putting the swimsuit in our county fair (which is a mile from our home and everyone in town thinks of it as our own week long town party). Should I enter it or is it to much for our county fair? I'd appreciate your opinion!
I had volunteered to pick up a friend's daughter from school, and was already past our pick up time. So, like any normal person, I stopped and asked for help. That "help" led me another 15 minutes down the wrong road and gulp, more whine (not wine yet, I'm driving).
By the time I reached my friend's daughter I was 30 minutes late!!! Now, don't freak, this isn't a child we are talking about-she's about 18, but I was so afraid her mom, who just had surgery yesterday, would think I had forgotten and not being able to reach me, would head out on her own. Just a big mess!!
I made it to Cantor practice and was just awash with joy at singing again. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. I live in a very small town so I knew several members already (including the young lady I gave a ride home to! Told you this was a small town!) So, the night did end well.
My mom is coming over tomorrow to help me do some prep work for this weekend's room switch. I also have a hair appt. tomorrow afternoon and am getting a different cut and style- think Meg Ryan in You have Mail- but maybe not that short.
Lastly, I am considering putting the swimsuit in our county fair (which is a mile from our home and everyone in town thinks of it as our own week long town party). Should I enter it or is it to much for our county fair? I'd appreciate your opinion!
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