Singing For Papa

I had a very powerful visit with my grandfather. Papa, a WWII vet, used to take me to honkey tonks where he'd convince the band that I was good enough to sit in (whether I was or not). There was a certain set of songs that I used to sing and it's been years since I sang for him. My mom thinks he's in that last stage before he stops knowing who we are, so his memory is really gone. But, he knows who I am and he knows who my children are and boy, does he light up when he sees my daughter!

So, my mom asked me to sing for Papa and before I knew it, we were singing all of the old songs and a few times, I forgot the words and Papa remembered them! It was as if we were able to reach a piece of the old Tom, if only for a few minutes.

My mom was crying, I was crying, we think Papa was crying, heck, his room mate was crying! I promised Papa I would practice some more songs and come back next week to sing them for him.

It's becoming so much more real now. We are slowly losing him and at some point we are going to look back on these past months as our last golden moments with him and I intend to make the most of every moment with him that I can.

One thing, and I hate to say this out loud, but I'm really troubled that I didn't ever do the one thing he wanted. He always wanted me to "make it big". At one point, he was actually encouraging me to quit college to make a go of it. I never did, but I would LOVE to give him that- me singing with the big stars. Just one song. I might sound terrible, but to him, it would be great. That's the neat thing about Papas. They always see you way better than you actually are. I know, not going to happen, but just to see his face, with me up there on stage, dedicating a song to him, and he, still knowing who I am, and knowing that I did it would be awesome. A girl can dream, can't she? Anyone out there know Trace, Gretchen, or Brad? I'm just saying....:)